Hi,I havent posted for a while but have been on here nearly every day.I really would love to get a part time job but even thinking about it makes me panic. My son has started secondary school and i know its time for me to get out there and help financially but even thinking about it makes me feel sick to the stomach. I have an application form for a job as a classroom assistant in a local primary and i would love to do something like that, but i know in my heart its out of my league. Even the form is too much, i have to give employer refrences, but i have not worked for 12 years, i cannot give these references. Things are so difficult these days. I just feel useless. My husband tells me the first step is the hardest, but i know it will always be hard, near impossible for me. I suffer from general anxiety, which has lead to social anxiety also. I am good for nothing, except being a mum and im fine with that but society expects you to work. I can barely manage parents evenings and short social functions, how on earth could i hold down a job. I am 38 and have wasted my life, except for having my son. I just want to be normal, with normal worries and anxieties, not this full blown fear that i live with everyday!!! Does anyone feel similar to this?Its good to share thoughts and feelings with people on this site. If it doesnt take the anxiety away it makes you feel you are not alone.Josephine.x
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