Hi all,
Some of you wont really know me as I havent posted on the forum for many months. I just feel really low and in need of some support just now so I hope its ok for me to come back.
I go through periods where I feel really good and positive with my anxiety and that I can cope with it. Then, I just suddenly feel like I cant cope and feel like I do just now.... hopeless. I have tried so many different things over these lsat 4 years since my anxiety began but somehow I have yet to truly conquer it. It seems to the constant worrying and fixation about my health that is my problem.
I just keep thinking that i will die of either a heart attack due to palpitations etc... stroke due to migraines and now more recently epilepsy due to a tingling and fuuny taste in my mouth/tongue and a dream I had where I woke up and thought about epilepsy ( I think I must be going mad!!). These thoughts are dominating my life and basically I am making myself ill with the worry - fear of fear cycle. I guess the one good thing is I kind of know that these thoughts are irrational but yet I cant stop thinking about them. It is not normal to constantly thinking that you will die each day? It takes the whole enjoyment out of life and I feel I am getting quite down about it all.
As for the GP's, they no longer take me seriously either and I guess that must be my own fault because I have been so often over these last 4 years. Everything I go there with, they just put down to anxiety but I dont think everything is just down to that. I have a lot of jaw problems which I think is causing a lot of dizziness, ear problems. migraines etc... but nothing really is getting doen about it. I dont really know where to go from here.
My husband no longer has sympathy for me either as he feels I WANT to feel like this. If only he really knew how this feels. Not only that, we both would love to have a baby but we just cant seem to conceive and again this is more than likely because I am so STRESSED all the time. I just feel like no matter what I do its wrong and everything is my fault.
Sorry for going on a bit but I just needed to get things off my chest and for someone to listen.
Many thanks
sadie