Re: afraid of my own existence
That is definitely depersonalisation. I had this for quite a while too, and the existential thoughts were horrible. I haven't had any for years now. The trick is to let them just come into your mind, without giving them any extra thought, or attaching fear to them... just let them come in and flow back out.. eventually they will fade away. Just realise it is an anxious mind producing these thoughts, nothing more, nothing less. You will be fine.
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I'm not like them, but I can pretend