Wow, really? thanks Blue Iris, is it the gluten? yeast? What should I be cutting out?
Wow, really? thanks Blue Iris, is it the gluten? yeast? What should I be cutting out?
Or could it be a reaction to having different food and more of it than what you have been eating recently?
You could try switching to sourdough, but Pulisa's right - maybe just be aware of the situation so that you don't need to worry if you have the odd grotty day.
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Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett
Hi
Im just want to feel better. Still getting pain mostly in my upper abdo though. I even had pain in my armpits this morning. Pain in middle of back, ribs, stomach. I have to keep telling ,myself that I had an endoscopy and ct scan only 6 months ago, and so stomach cancer is unlikely. I just want to feel better..
I haven’t lost any weight , so holding on to that too. I think i might be a little bloated though.
it feels like cancer is closing in. Last night my daughter rang me to tell me a close friend of hers has been diagnosed with testicular cancer which has spread to his lungs... he is only 26! so sad.
so why should I escape? I also feel so guilty that I’m thinking about myself at a time like this
Inanna xx
What's your lifestyle like in general right now? I get horrible mid- and upper back pain, plus pretty violent cramps around my ribs. I think it may be a postural thing where I'm working at home and hunching over a PC for eight hours a day.
The problem isn't the pain, though, it's the anxiety. Forgive me for asking, but I haven't been following - what help are you getting to manage your fears?
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Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett
Cancer IS closing in...but to people around you like your sister and to people who you don't actually know but are told about.
You are just anticipating your eventual fate as well because even if you're ok now it's only a matter of time before it gets you too? With every clear test comes the thought that the next test will reveal the worst and you won't have escaped after all so you might as well prepare for cancer now?
Not sure whether these suggestions are valid but I suspect that you are well and truly terrified by your thoughts and fears at the moment. I'm amazed that you haven't lost any weight despite having poor appetite and despite your anxiety. You do sound really low and frightened. Can you talk to anyone about your HA? Someone who understands and who won't encourage you to seek more tests because you know the reassurance you get from them doesn't last and won't help you to manage the fears in the long term xx
Hi BlueIris
I woek in IT so spend all day at a desk. I try to do a walking workout at lunchtime, but I don't always manage to fit it in. I am talking to a Mental Health person at work, periodically, and he wants me to invoke my BUPA cover to get some sessions with a psychologist who specialises in OCD and Anxiety. I promised him I would look into it tomorrow. I have in the past done CBT and it helped for a while, but I probably need to do it again
Hi Pulisa
As you will see from above, I do speak to the Mental Health doctor at work, once a month. Its the first time I've spoken to anyone away from forums, and its very hard, as I have OCD and health anxiety.
You are absolutely right that I am feeling like cancer is my fate, and I can't escape it. So, having the tests is only a temporary respite. The logical me knows that I am throwing away my life by being this way. I want to be like other people, and not panic if I have an occasional glass of wine, without feeling like I have not followed the rules, and therefore be punished by a terrible fate, or even affect someone elses fate. I am so tired of being this way, sometimes I want to close my eyes, and let go of life, which is ironic isnt it?
I agree with you that its odd I haven't lost any weight. that said, I do try to make sure I eat, because if I do lose weight, I will panic more. It has crossed my mind, that a tumour could be growing and it weighs a lot. Which is nuts, as I had a ct scan in January, so any tumour would not even be that big yet.
thank you so much for replying, it means more than I can say
Inanna xx
Ah yes...the tumour which hides actual weight loss...That's a good one from your helpful HA sidekick!
I share a lot of these thoughts/behaviours and find I just have to deal with facts. It's great that you haven't lost weight (I have), you have had a multitude of invasive tests over the past year (I haven't) and your bloods are presumably normal. I would be very reassured with all these facts and would be disciplined in not wanting to seek further anxiety-provoking and clinically unnecessary tests just to briefly satisfy my HA..before the next perceived sinister outbreak of "deadly" symptoms xx
Hi Pulisa
I'm trying really hard o not get pulled into a load more invasive tests, I really am. I got my blood tests results yesterday, and they told me "Normal, no further action", which has soothed me a little bit. This morning my phone rang, and it came up as "drs", which made my heart lurch. I was convinced they were phoning me to tell me they'd made a mistake on the results, or that my FIT sample had come back as positive. However, it was just the reception staff wanting to confirm my email address for repeat prescription purposes (I'm on HRT). why do I always jump to a worst case scenario?
I was the same at the weekend when a letter with the NHS logo dropped through my door. I was shaking when I opened it, and all it was was a confirmation of my (negative) COVID-19 results which they'd already texted me. (I was part of a random study group, I don't have any symptoms of COVID-19)
Bowel movements still very loose, and range from an orangey brown, to a dark brown, not sure how normal this is
Inanna xx
So, I got my blood test results form back.
all were “normal “ with two exceptions
and it said
liver function test marginally reduced
serum b12 and folate marginally reduced.
what could be causing that? I don’t drink alcohol ( well very rarely), so surely my liver function sdhould be good unlesss there is something wrong??
trying not to freak out
Inanna xx
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