Hi all,
Im Mark i have posted on here but im new at the moment i feel very close to suicide i have various problems for a living im in a very successful theatre show touring the U.k and various parts of the world i suffer with depression currently on citalopram.
I also have been suffering once again with my hypocondria but the main thing is i am the main income bringer for the household and at the moment we seem to struggle all the time no matter how hard i try i just cant make my wages spread. And that makes me really low i feel sometimes like whats the point i worry about bills, Mum's illness(she has Alzheimers). Its my birthday on Sunday and all i can think is im 29 its been 29 years of mostly shit and why celebrate it could be another 29 years of shit and i really at the moment cant be bothered with anything i have 2 girls twins that are two and my partner has a 6 year old from a previous marriage.
I worry about life after the band as i have no qualifications and the wage i get now i struggle so going to factory work or something like that i would not be able to live. Even things like if my car had a serious mechanical problem i couldnt afford to fix it therefor id be cut off from my mum as i live in Derbyshire and she's in Liverpool.
So i think should i end my life now and get it over with ?
The tablets dont seem to work and ive had a session with a Psycologist
with another one on the 5th of November. Dont know what else to say really as all i can say now is life to me is a pain something i cant be bothered with i get what about your family if yo killed yourself ? But why should i live just to benefit other people when im trully miserable.
mark