Hi everyone,
I'd like to post about what I've been doing during the last week because I'm hoping it will help others see that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
For those of you who don't know me, I work as a Saturday and casual library assistant. Normally I only work Saturdays but if the library is short staffed they ask me to come in and help. Before last Christmas I was applying for part time library jobs but then suffered a setback after suffering panic attacks at work and at restaurants. The next couple of months were terrible for me and I was signed off work. I lost interest in all of my hobbies, had a really poor appetite, often ended up retching soon after waking and felt very anxious. There were times when I didn't care if I failed to wake up in the morning and I'd lost all hope and belief in getting better.
Earlier in the year I had six sessions of CBT and I slowly started going back to work. To begin with I went in for one hour and steadily built it up until I was working the full Saturday again. It wasn't easy and I've had my fair share of ups and downs to cope with. There was still a lot of anxiety floating around but a course of counselling which I've recently finished has really helped to reduce this. Over the last couple of months I've felt my confidence slowly returning and I started to accept bits of casual work.
The last week has been very busy for me although it began with just one day (Wednesday) of casual work planned, lasting from 9-5. My supervisor then got in touch on Monday and asked if I could work Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 9-5. Feeling quite apprehensive, I agreed to work Tueday and Thursday but felt Friday was too much as I had to work Saturday too. Anyway, after working 9-5 on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I felt confident enough to offer to work on Friday which was gratefully accepted. On Friday I arrived for 9 and expected to finish at 5 but during the afternoon a colleague went home sick. I was put on the spot and asked if I could work until 8pm (which is when the library closes) and I agreed. It made me feel a little jittery for a time but I managed and ate out at McDonalds during my tea break too. So I ended up working Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 9-5, Friday 9-8, and Saturday 9-1, something I never dreamed of being able to do at the beginning of the year.
The reason I've written this is because I hope it gives people some belief that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I don't consider myself cured and I still have plenty to work on but things have definitely improved. I also want to say a big thank you to NMP because this has been one of the key things in helping me to achieve things. By NMP I mean everything: Nic and Alex, the admins and mods, but most importantly every member who makes NMP what it is.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and take care,
Mike
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Well Done, success stories are always fab to read,xxx 
