Hi again all,
Ive been feeling weird the last few days i can only describe it as fiting with my mind trying not to get depressed. As im aware my finances are the root cause of my depression at the moment im totally skint and dont get paid till the 10th.
And as i have myself and my partner and three kids to look after im really panicing now i get a decsent wage but i only seem to earn enough to pay all the bills and never have any what i call "To Do" money.
The other day i thought i really cant cope with this any longer as ive suffered since i was 15 with this i felt like getting a bottle of tablets and a bottle of Vodka and well good night problems.
Again i got up and first thing i could think was another day of doing nothing and being p****d off it amazes me as i say for a proffession i gig all over the country in theatres with my band and were also off to Norway,Poland this year all i think of is whats the bloody point. I said the other day to my partner i dont feel like a person anymore i feel like an object i go to work bring money in have to play Mr Happy on stage get my wages pay it all out ive got no savings and never seem to have any money left. So i keep asking myself why am i still doing all this ??
Mark
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