Panic about mole on my daughter's back

[carriewriting]

I honestly was starting to feel like I'd turned the corner with my health anxiety this past week, but today I've been plunged back into panic after noticing a dark spot on my daughter's back.

She's 21, very fair skinned and has always stayed out of the sun. I don't think she's ever been sunburnt. She doesn't even have any freckles on her back, that's why today when she was wearing a dress with an open back I noticed this spot straight away. It stands out so vividly.

It's dark brown, raised, with a bit of pink around it and is about half the size of a pencil eraser.

I am consumed with fear about it. Good old zero to catastrophe strikes again.

Luckily my skin doctor has an appointment tomorrow so she's getting it checked out straight away.

My dad has had melanoma twice so that's one of my big fears, but it never occurred to me to get my kids checked at such a young age.

Also my dad is fine after both melanomas so I don't know why I'm so scared but I really am.

If she had other freckles or moles it wouldn't be so bad, but she just has this one which seems like a bad sign being so young and with no history of sun exposure.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough. In the meantime, I'm taking deep breaths and trying not to freak her out with my panicking

[Scass]

Maybe your HA was on the way out and this is just a blip.

Hope your daughter gets in ok, let us know.

I’m with you on the parental anxiety though. X


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[bin tenn]

I'm sorry it has you so worried, but I'm glad you're able to get her in for an appointment quickly. Although I have a history of sunburns, and I have several moles/freckles, I have a few that are darker brown, raised, even with a bit of pink coloration around one or two of them. My doctor saw one of them during a physical a few years ago, but she was ultimately not concerned. She asked if I knew about it, I said yes. She also asked if it's changed at all, which it hasn't, and she pretty much stopped thinking about it after that. Do the due diligence by seeing the doctor, but I think it is still likely nothing at all.

[carriewriting]

We went to the skin doctor today and she wasn't concerned. She said this mole matches a few others my daughter has on other areas of her body so they are normal for her. She said they will likely continue to grow slowly and that's nothing to worry about. No need to take photos or get too obsessed about them she said. Just watch out for fast changes or new moles that look different. It is a benign mole called a compound naevus.

Of course this is good news and I am relieved, but good old health anxiety refuses to give up quite yet. It's nagging at me that my daughter looks very young for her age, did the doctor realise she's nearly 22? Maybe she thinks she's younger because I came in with her. Maybe this isn't normal for a 22 year old, but only a teen. Maybe I should get a second opinion just in case and on, and on, and on...

But, I will have to get over it because my daughter is fine. She has been examined by a doctor with a qualification in skin cancer and as far as she's concerned it's over. I've told her to mention it to her regular GP when she sees her in a few weeks about routine blood tests so it goes on her medical records. My role in this has come to an end and I was probably too involved in the first place.

Deep breaths and thanks for reading.

[pulisa]

Glad to hear this and you are right to step away from this now. Do not allow your HA to affect your daughter's mental wellbeing. You know this of course but it's a number one priority.

Let your daughter make her own mind up about mentioning this to her own GP? The skin doctor wasn't concerned.

Keep on working on your therapy, Carrie. You'll be continually tested but you have to keep things in perspective and challenge those HA doubts and fears which you are doing x

[carriewriting]

Thanks Pulisa. I was just starting to feel better when the husband comes home, looks at the mole and says "Do we trust this doctor? It's a bit red around the edges?"

[pulisa]

Thanks Pulisa. I was just starting to feel better when the husband comes home, looks at the mole and says "Do we trust this doctor? It's a bit red around the edges?"

Yes you most definitely do. When did your husband qualify as a dermatologist?