Coincidences and hell

[fostadelsol]

Hello everyone,

I’m new here, I joined yesterday as I found some relevant posts here, so thought I would share my story to give comfort to others (I know from personal experience that I benefit hugely from knowing I’m “not the only one”) and to ask for your advice and thoughts.

For a several years now I have been thinking, quite obsessively, about the terrible possibility that hell could exist. This is despite me being an atheist (I’m now agnostic as a result of these experiences) and stems from overthinking about living in a computer simulation and from watching dystopian tv shows and films (ie Black Mirror). It used to be much more manageable but about a year ago I was having a particularly anxious day after experiencing a number of coincidences (coincidences have made me feel anxious for some time) and at the end of the day I said to myself “this song playing on the radio will have a meaning for me” and so I looked and it was called “Burn in Hell’. Since then I have been feeling a LOT worse and coincidences have much more significance as I interpret them negatively as reminders of that experience. I have also become unhealthily obsessed with the number 13 which seems to feature so much more often in my life than say 12 and 14.

This whole episode is extremely debilitating and depressing, I am struggling to find joy in life, am terrified something awful is imminent and I struggle to think about anything else.

Any advice you can offer would be wonderful as I have recently been declined a “psychiatric assessment” by the NHS which has been difficult to take considering how I’m feeling.

Thanks

[ServerError]

I have to be honest, I would go back to your GP and maybe show them this thread as it outlines quite nicely the struggles you're living with. I've been helped by the NHS for less intrusive thought patterns than what you're describing here, and it's clear it's proving difficult for you to cope with. I don't want to say too much about your particular fears as that starts getting into the philosophical and theological and I don't want to enter a debate about those sorts of things. What you need is help learning to manage and tackle your particular intrusive thought patterns and fears.

One thing I would say is that it may seem as if the number 13 comes up more than the numbers 12 and 14, for example, but that's likely because of your fear of 13. You notice it more and register it as significant and relevant. But just think of all the 12s, 14s, 25s, 1261s etc etc that have also happened in your life that you just haven't noticed because your mind hasn't attached any meaning to them.

For what it's worth, I don't believe the number 13 means anything anyway. That's just mass magical thinking that humans have engaged in through our history. Others may disagree, but I don't want to get into an online debate on that point. The real point is that you need help managing intrusive thoughts.

[serith]

Have you ever considered trying to switch your obsession to the number 12 and then see if that number suddenly starts appearing everywhere?

I guarantee you, it is confirmation bias. You probably know that, but if you try this exercise maybe you will actually see it for yourself?

[Lencoboy]

I have to be honest, I would go back to your GP and maybe show them this thread as it outlines quite nicely the struggles you're living with. I've been helped by the NHS for less intrusive thought patterns than what you're describing here, and it's clear it's proving difficult for you to cope with. I don't want to say too much about your particular fears as that starts getting into the philosophical and theological and I don't want to enter a debate about those sorts of things. What you need is help learning to manage and tackle your particular intrusive thought patterns and fears.

One thing I would say is that it may seem as if the number 13 comes up more than the numbers 12 and 14, for example, but that's likely because of your fear of 13. You notice it more and register it as significant and relevant. But just think of all the 12s, 14s, 25s, 1261s etc etc that have also happened in your life that you just haven't noticed because your mind hasn't attached any meaning to them.

For what it's worth, I don't believe the number 13 means anything anyway. That's just mass magical thinking that humans have engaged in through our history. Others may disagree, but I don't want to get into an online debate on that point. The real point is that you need help managing intrusive thoughts.

The fear/hatred of Number 13 is probably one of the most timeless superstitions/conspiracy theories ever. And I've always thought all the scaremongering stuff about Friday the 13th has been among the biggest load of old pony ever, just like all the 'Doomsday' stuff about other named dates over time, e.g, a specific date in December 2012 which many believed was meant to be the end of the world, which turned out to be just like any other day without anything mega untoward happening.

Bad things can happen pretty much at any time on any day/date, rather than specific named dates. But sadly some people just seem to get kicks from this 'superstitious named date'/'Doomsday' phenomena, and it's virtually impossible to convince them otherwise, despite (almost always) superior evidence to the contrary.

[BlueIris]

Sometimes it's a genuine fear, though. We all know these things aren't always rational.

[pav1984]

Hello everyone,

I’m new here, I joined yesterday as I found some relevant posts here, so thought I would share my story to give comfort to others (I know from personal experience that I benefit hugely from knowing I’m “not the only one”) and to ask for your advice and thoughts.

For a several years now I have been thinking, quite obsessively, about the terrible possibility that hell could exist. This is despite me being an atheist (I’m now agnostic as a result of these experiences) and stems from overthinking about living in a computer simulation and from watching dystopian tv shows and films (ie Black Mirror). It used to be much more manageable but about a year ago I was having a particularly anxious day after experiencing a number of coincidences (coincidences have made me feel anxious for some time) and at the end of the day I said to myself “this song playing on the radio will have a meaning for me” and so I looked and it was called “Burn in Hell’. Since then I have been feeling a LOT worse and coincidences have much more significance as I interpret them negatively as reminders of that experience. I have also become unhealthily obsessed with the number 13 which seems to feature so much more often in my life than say 12 and 14.

This whole episode is extremely debilitating and depressing, I am struggling to find joy in life, am terrified something awful is imminent and I struggle to think about anything else.

Any advice you can offer would be wonderful as I have recently been declined a “psychiatric assessment” by the NHS which has been difficult to take considering how I’m feeling.

Thanks

You are best to ask someone trained in this kind of thing. I think one thing they may recommend is exposure to your phobia. For example eating 13 sweets (might as well get something out of it) or something similar.

I don't think you'll be on your own not liking the number 13. I can sympathise with how you feel with regards to how debilitating anxiety can be.

I do recommend speaking with someone trained in this area though before trying anything like I mentioned above.

You mentioned about going from being atheist to agnostic I'll recommend a book. The Case For Christ by Lee Strobel. I understand he went from sceptic to Christian and the book is a series of interviews with various experts providing evidence for Jesus's life, death and resurrection. The audio book is good as well if you prefer audio books.

You may also want to look up John 3 16. This bible verse gives a good description of salvation in the Christian faith.