Dad

[MyNameIsTerry]

Fishman, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad passed.

Whilst times are going to be very hard for you right now you need to remember just how much you did for him. Much more so than any other in your family. I bet he taught you loads and you repaid him with how you cared for him in the years he needed it. In time that will be more prominent than sorrow.

We're all here for you mate. Do what you have to to get through this awful time but don't let doubts upset you and don't run yourself ragged looking after everyone else

[MyNameIsTerry]

Something cute I saw on the news this morning. Might give you a brief lift

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c72qgg398wqo.amp

[fishman65]

Thank you Terry you're a top bloke And thanks for the link.

Yes today has been harder than yesterday as we were running around doing stuff. I went on my walk this morning but everything seems grey and colourless. Its my brother doing most of the phoning etc today. and there's a problem that's come up.

Around the late 90s Dad and his second wife at the time bought a plot in the local churchyard. In 2000 his second wife died and was laid to rest in that churchyard. Apparently Dad paid for himself to be buried in that plot too. However, my brother has been in contact with the council responsible for that church, and there's no record of any transaction regarding Dad's plot.

They said the church warden of that time died in 2006. And the late 90s/early 00s were a time when the internet was very much in its infancy. So would any evidence be on paper only? And if it has been lost, there will be no proof he ever bought it.

[Carnation]

It sounds like you would need something in writing to prove it or a recorded of payment fishman x

[Darksky]

I would guess his bank would be the first call via the executor of his estate. They must have all his historic transactions.

[Carnation]

Good thinking darksky

[MyNameIsTerry]

They issue a grave or burial deed. Hopefully your dad has stored it somewhere so the executors can take control of the plot since it forms part of the estate.

Maybe a trawl of church records will turn up evidence of a purchase especially if they look for his second wife's.

[fishman65]

Hi guys and thank you all for your advice and suggestions. It means a great deal to me.

Well nobody can find anything regarding the purchased plot. My nephew has been looking into it, not literally. But the current church warden can't find anything relating to a purchase. The previous warden died about 15 years ago and it would appear he either didn't record it or he lost any record he made.

My nephew phoned my Dad's step daughter but she has no record either. So, nephew asked her if my Dad could be buried in the same plot as his wife at the time. Are you with me so far? Well step daughter agreed he could but he'd have to be cremated, not buried.

So...... its now looking like a lost cause and we may end up burying him in a different cemetery closer to home. Bear in mind these were days before the internet, or at least was in its infancy.

Back home and a splitting head ache still.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think that's a condition of a spousal agreement, Fishman. I seem to recall reading that it had to be after cremation.

Like you need hassle like this at such a time.

[fishman65]

Thanks Terry that could well be a big help. I've just put it on the WhatsApp group chat.

Tbh my Dad and second wife only lived in that village between 1995 and 2002. And second wife died in Jan 2000, so barely 5 years for her and 7 at the most for Dad. Its a small village with a small churchyard. There are most likely families going back a long way there that could object.