I had my annual gyn appointment the other day and brought up a small cyst (or something) my pelvic floor PT had found. My doctor could feel it but couldn't see it on exam. She wasn't worried but said, why not just get an ultrasound to see if they can measure it. So, I went for the ultrasound yesterday. I've had SO many transvaginal ultrasounds in my day because of my long past with fibroids. But, I haven't had one since my hysterectomy three years ago.

I also have a massively irrational fear of the internal incision cite from the hysterectomy busting open, even years later when I know it's not going to happen. So, having the ultrasound was stressful to begin with. Then, the woman doing it was pretty rough and it was pretty painful at times. On top of all that, they couldn't even see the cyst (I mean I know that's a good thing). I feel fine today physically - maybe a tiny pit achy like after a pelvic exam - but it was just a really stressful, invasive, generally icky-feeling experience that's made me feel down today.