Hi Everyone,
I've posted a few times before, for various health worries about myself and my husband. I've had premature ovarian failure (I think around age 36) and was treated with HRT until last May, when it was determined that I had uterine hyperplasia and needed a total hysterectomy. I had it, recovered great, and thought many of my worries would be behind me.
Last week I had an ABUS (automatic breast ultrasound) done as part of my annual screening. I'd had a mammogram done in October which came back normal, but I have heterogeneously dense breasts so they now recommend the ABUS as well.
On Friday I got a call from the imaging center saying that I need to have a follow up manual ultrasound and possible biopsy. After that call my ABUS report was available online, and it said there was a suspicious area and "primary malignancy must be a consideration." They recommended the biopsy and rated me Birads 4.
I went into an absolute panic meltdown: full body sweat, panic attack, etc. I called my doctor and when she called me back she was somewhat reassuring, saying that the ABUS is a screening test, and they flag anything unusual for follow up. She said that they could determine at the ultrasound that a biopsy is not necessary. Or, they could do the biopsy and it could be all clear. She said we don't really know anything at this point. She also said that having the medical reports available online is not as helpful as they want it to be, because patients don't know how to read the report.
I feel like the report was pretty clear -- they think I have cancer. I'm so scared I'm not functioning. I'm exhausting my support network with constant worries. I keep trying to look up stuff online to comfort myself but then I find more things to worry about. Knowing where the anomaly is located on my breast, I feel like I can feel it internally. I've had intermittent pains in the armpit on that side so I'm scared it's already gone into my lymph node.
I'm 48. My mom had breast cancer (diagnosed after age 60 and successfully controlled by meds until her death from causes related to her MS), and my father's sister had it (mastectomy and treatment; so far either stable or cancer free for over ten years). I've been scared pretty much my whole life about cancer, particularly bc.
I've read the posts on this forum a lot, and I appreciate how supportive everyone seems to be here. I know that none of you are medical professionals and can't give medical advice, but I would really appreciate some support. Has anyone else gotten a birads 4 but had it turn out ok in the follow up? Has anyone else had something that you can't palpate but turned up in a scan that ended up being ok?
I'm not sleeping well and not eating much. I've had numerous talks with my husband and I'm scaring him even more.
I'm so scared about the follow up, the probably inevitable biopsy, and what comes next. I don't want to die, and leave my husband and my sweet pup. I don't want to become an invalid. I've been very, very scared with HA many times over the years, but this is the most scared I've ever been. And there's a very good chance I won't be told everything is fine.
The birads score is just 4, no "a, b, or c" so I don't even know if my risk for malignancy is high or low. Nothing is comforting me. I feel like my doctor was just saying things to calm me down in the moment, but that she knows I have cancer and I'm doomed.
Please talk to me.
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