I'm driving myself crazy. In November, I noticed a tiny amount of clear nipple discharge after squeezing my right breast a little too hard. After this point, my anxiety led to me understand the specific squeeze/massage type motion that can produce the fluid (again, only a tiny amount) and I realised my left could do the same too. After freaking out, I phoned the NHS helpline and went through an extensive questionnaire with a senior nurse who essentially ruled out pretty much anything scary and wrote it off as 'boobs just do stuff like this, leave them alone'. Around this time, I also learned that, on squeezing, a small amount of yellow/white ish fluid can come out of my montgomery glands. I understand that these glands produce oil but most accounts online seem to talk about a thick, pasty type substance rather than a thinner texture. I didn't mention this aspect on the phone call and kind of moved past it given the reassurance I already had but I'm having a HA flare up right now, more on this later). Throughout this whole time, nothing has spontaneously come out of my nipples or areola areas but I have noticed tiny (pinhead or less) size marks (grey or extremely faint yellow like face sebum or the stuff in clogged face pores) in one particular sports bra right where my montgomery glands sit - definitely not the actual tip of my nipple, the glands specifically (the bra is too tight really and not well ventilated so, after a sweaty running session, it's basically adheared to my breast skin). No marks in any other bras (ones that fit better or have more ventilation).
My HA is flaring big style at the moment, hence revisiting boob worries from the end of last year (even though I do trust the judgement of the nurse I spoke to - everything looks and feels exactly as it always had with my breasts and I may have always had these symptoms and just never known - I recently took up running/bought the offending bra plus, I only ever did breast self-exams in the shower or was much more gentle with myself vs now). Basically, all this has kicked off because I have a smear test later this week and I've heard a crazy number of people saying they've had 'reactivated HPV' from 10+ years ago show up and create cell changes. I feel sick at the thought that I could get a 'bad' result as, not only am I terrified of medical stuff but I also feel like my partner will assume I've been unfaithful (he's a good guy but he doesn't really understand the reactivated HPV thing). I know my mind is jumping to conclusions but I just don't know how to feel at the moment. All sorts of old HA stuff has been coming up (like the aforementioned breast stuff plus many others). I guess I'm just posting here to see if anyone has any words of encouragement or anything to help me to feel better. I'm getting married in a year and my HA has been so much worse since planning the wedding - my brain likes to tell me I'll have a horrible illness and not make it to my wedding day :(
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