Hurt v Trust

[Bill]

I was watching Star Trek the other night and Data asked "Why do humans make friends when friends can cause hurt"?

I think we're just social animals. We need friendships so we don't feel alone, especially when we have something in common that causes suffering.

However, there's a saying "ships pass in the night". I can think back to so many people I've known but they've all gone. Their lives just took them in different directions. Sometimes we say we'll always be around for someone but life never seems to be like that.

My father used to say how he always wanted the family to stay close but some went abroad or just to live miles away. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to keep friends, the more they slip through your fingers. I guess because we all have our own lives to lead.

Sometimes we trap ourselves into lifestyles or situations that create barriers which leave us feeling isolated because no one can get near however hard we try to allow them.

We all need friends so we all have to cope with hurt and the only way I know is to be happy for them if they've found happiness. If they don't appear to care about us as we do about them then I guess we have to be thick skinned. Hard to do though I know.

The only thing I know for sure is that to live without friends is to live a lonely existence so we have to risk hurt and learn to cope when the ships we meet fire at us or sail on.

Sorry for the ramble. It was the programme. It just made me think so I thought I'd think outloud!

[Lilith1980]

I have had friends who only seemed to keep me in my "bad place" but in a way it was a comfort because it gave me a reason for being the way I was (drinking, eating problems etc).

One particular friend I still keep in contact with but we arent as close as we used to be since I decided to cut down on the drink (dont have problems with it now) and since I recovered from my eating disorder. She, however, still drinks too much and is obsessed with her eating habits. One reason why I choose not to see her too often because I dont want that negativity.

I believe that some people come into our lives for only a brief period, if not to help us see the error of our ways, or to help us through a bad patch. And then they move on, not intentionally....or perhaps it is US that move on.

I'm not sad that I dont see certain people anymore, to me they came into my life for a reason and then that reason was no longer relevant. I guess its all part of the journey.