Opinions on therapy

[Sunflower2]

Hello,
For the last couple of months I have been getting video therapy appointments through the nhs. Firstly I realise that I am in a lucky position to even get this as I know there is a big waiting list.
I’ve seen several therapists over the years for anxiety, which comes and goes depending on life and circumstances.
I requested more therapy sessions at the end of last year as I was struggling to do much without getting anxious and wasn’t going out much on my own.
I don’t feel like I am clicking with this current therapist. I struggle to explain what I mean or why I do certain things. I know with cbt you need to do homework, but I struggle to find the time to work out what tasks I am supposed to be doing, and then if I do it my own way, it’s not really counted as I didn’t fill in the correct sheets that I was set. Am I being unreasonable? I had an amazing therapist a few years ago who I made so much progress with, and she helped me to realise a lot of things I didn’t notice.
I’m a very busy person so I only have limited amount of free time to be filling in various worksheets and keep track of every time I get an anxious thought (which I’ll be honest is many many times in a day) I just don’t feel like I’m getting much out of the therapy, and I feel a bit like the therapist is condescending and tends to jump to conclusions about what I’m experiencing. My main issues at the moment are not going out much on my own, and having an ongoing struggle to gain weight. But in the therapy sessions they want me to tackle me to tackle my fear of being sick so I have to do things that I would avoid, like eating food going out of date and not washing my hands before eating. I don’t really want to do these things and feel like they don’t overly help the situation of feeling less anxious going out myself.
Not sure if anyone will be able to have any opinions or similar experiences where the therapist doesn’t really understand you or your goals/issues?
Thanks if anyone gets this far through this post!

[Carnation]

Hi Sunflower

Reading your post it sounds to me like your therapy sessions are more of a chore than support and help.
As for telling you not to wash hands or eat things out of date, well I'm shocked to be honest. Both of those things would send me over the edge. Is she trying to make you sick? There are certain foods that you should never eat out of date.....chicken and pork especially. Oh my.
I can see why you haven't clicked.
Personally I'm not keen on video sessions. They can't see your body language and it's very impersonal. It didn't work for me. Finding a good therapist is a bit pot luck and if it's not working for you then it's best to move on.
I had several I didn't continue with. The one I did was amazing and got me.
As I know your history a little, I think you have to two main things going on.... Worry and feeling overwhelmed. I know there's the food issue but that's a separate thing that could be ongoing. I know you've done well with this and if you are anything like me, if other stuff in your life is going a bit haywire then it affects the weight.
What do you feel you need right now? Support? Guidance? Reassurance? Some changes in your routine?
Here if you need me x

[Sunflower2]

Thanks for your reply Carnation, it’s really appreciated.
Absolutely they feel like a chore, because I’m just going through the motions rather making any real progress.
I also found out last week I had extremely low iron, my ferritin was 8, a drop from 23 a few months ago and it should be at least over 50. So physically I just feel like a zombie most of the time. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t wake up feeling tired, and still sometimes get various heart related issues when I’ve done too much. The therapist thinks I’m burnt out but also says I have a balanced lifestyle, working but taking breaks for lunch and doing regular exercise. So she then says I’m burnt out because of the ocd. And that makes me then feel guilty about everything and that I’m not trying hard enough to overcome it. But honestly I think my issues stem from feeling out of control in other areas of my life.
I’m not sure how to move forward with it, if I say I’m not clicking with the therapist I don’t want to be black listed from the nhs therapy services but also how it’s going at the moment feels like a waste of both of our times.

[Carnation]

You won't get blacklisted if you say you don't feel it's working for you. They may even offer you a different therapist. Therapy can be tiring until you have many sessions and feel more comfortable. You might need a break from it altogether as it seems too much at present.
Red meat for your iron. They used to give Guinness years ago to patients, especially new mums.
Plenty of greens, otherwise you can get iron supplements.
Remember what I said years ago, food is fuel.