Help - reassurance needed

[flatterycat]

Hi folks

Just writing cause I am having a 'blip' at the moment. I had an acute bout of anxiety back in May which lasted until about Sept. I have since been back at work and have been doing really well.

However since Friday I seem to have slipped right back and am having terrible anxiety again. Along with the usual, loss of appetite, feeling sick, shaking and feelings of fear I am having more scary thoughts.

I have had a varety of these thoughts and have had some wonderful support from people. I juust need some more reassurance that I am not alone and that what I experiencing is NORMAL for anxiety.

I have told docs, and therapist about my thoughts and they always say the same, that they are nothing to worry about and not what I think (which is that I am developing scitzo or some other serious mental illness. Everone I talk to tells me I am not even close to that type of illness but I find it so hard to believe.


My latest fear is that I feel scared all the time and even scared of loved ones! No reason at all - just a feeling a fear sometimes when I think of them or see them. And then this morning another thought hit me "What if I don't trust the people trying to help me, like my therapist or my lovely, supportive hubby. It's like if I don't trust them then I'll never get well.


Sorry to ramble on so. I suppose I just feel so 'odd' having these scary thoughts. I just want to be worried about normal things like christmas and bills etc. Instead I seem consumed with the most ridiculous fears.

Can anyone relate to these silly thoughts??

Thankyou for reading this

S X

[SammiB]

hello.

of course what your feeling is totally normal. the docs are right tho, no where near that kind of illness or everyone who had anx for 20 years wouldn't be on here, so i think your safe.

I know what its like to have these thoughts, but thats all they are. just try to distract yourself and keep doing what you do normally. my anx also started in may unfortunatly mine never stopped :( but i'm glad you had a break from yours. Maybe your anx has come back because of the stress from this type of year, the bills, the time etc. i think that our brains have trained themselves like it has a worry box and once you open it to put one in, such as no time for xmas shopping then it starts flying out with whacky things.

Anyway, no you are not alone we are all here and we all have bad blips

hope everthing works out and have a merry xmas

xx

i think

[Lilith1980]

Hey Flattery

Yes, what you're experiencing is par for the course for an anxiety sufferer, I have the bad patches you describe, followed by a "good patch" where things seem ok.

I hate it when those good patches come to an end and I'm plunged back down again. I dont understand it.

SammiB is right though, we may have these irrational and disturbing thoughts but that is all they are. They are not something you can touch, they are thoughts and fears, which cannot harm you.

It might be the time of year bringing this anxiety on? I always feel more sensitive to thoughts and fears at xmas.

xx

[flatterycat]

Thankyou both for your quick replies.

Do you really think the feelings about trust and fear are normal for anxiety? I'm so scared it's a sign of madness.

S X

[SammiB]

Hey hun if your going mad then we already are.

i don't jus
t think, i believe would borderline say i know that they are normal.

[Lilith1980]

I have trouble trusting close friends, my fiance, most people I meet. I am sometimes utterly convinced that friends dont like me, and will sh*t on me at the earliest opportunity. I have been convinced that my fiance is using me - for what reason I dont know, but I have been convinced of it.

You're not going mad hun, its the anxiety. Fear is a big component of anxiety. I can understand why you would think you might be going mad because all this fear and feeling as though you can't trust people, feels so real to you.

I've broken down in tears before because I've realised I've been living in a world of my own for weeks, just because I have all these thoughts and I think they are real. But I know I'm not mad, its the anxiety.

If I was mad, then I would expect to be in this state all the time. But I have periods where I am happy and anxiety free. They dont last very long but if I really were mad, then I dont think I would come out of that mad state.

Dont quote me on this but I suspect that if it were truly going mad you wouldnt have a lot of awareness of it actually happening. You wouldnt be able to see what is happening to you and would not ask for help as you would not realise you have been taken by madness in the first place.

You are here, asking for advice, you are aware of what is happening and you dont like it....you are not going mad hun xxx

[joannap]

hi - i have had similar thoughts to yours when my anxiety is high - they sound very usual for anxiety sufferers to me. what i try to do is to not get involved with me - don;t enter into a mental argument with yourself as that will have you going round in circles; causing more anxiety. i have read that a lot of these thoughts are created by stress so instead of working out what is really bothering us like christmas approaching, money worries etc - we generate the thoughts instead. x

[jill]

Hi hun,

First I would like to say how well you are doing, ohh WELL DONE, you should be soo proud of yourself, you doing great, please see this as just a blip, nothing more.

When I was acute, I had the same thoughts, there only thoughts and thoughts can be changed.

Let me ask you a question, who is it that knows you the best, your fears, what makes you happy? now, let me tell you the answers to this question, ITS YOU, you know in the back of your mind what you fears, lets face it, everyone in this world has fears, they just don't let themselves think about them, but Mrs anxiety is playing with you on this, its the what if's, that are keeping these fears going, you know full well, that you ARE NOT, going mad. Anxiety has many symptoms, and this is defo, one of them, playing with our negative thoughts, making us see more negative than positive.

YOU CAN, help yourself on this hun, I know how dame hard it is, but it can be done, look more on the positive sides of life, the happy things.

It is important NOT to give to much importance to these thoughts, this WILL pass hun, you know it will, keep pushing the happy positive thoughts in hun.

This is anxiety hun, as you can see, your not alone on this, there are lots of other threads on this forum like this one.

I do hope these thoughts pass soon AND they will.

You take care

LOVE JILLXX

[mlondon]

Hi there,

You sound like you have a good understanding of your feelings. What amazes me is that no matter how many times I have experienced anxiety everytime it happens again I think 'this can't be anxiety, i am going mad' etc. It always seems new.

But like you say it is a 'blip', it is just a 'bout' of anxiety, it doesn't mark anything bad happening, things won't get worse. You'll be ok.

[tonkaboy]

Hi Flattery Cat,

Sounds exactly like anxiety to me. I get plagued by the worst thoughts. It's almost like I say to myself, 'what's the worst thing I can think of in this situation?' and then I worry about it. I know it's daft but I find it very, very hard to get out of that way of thinking.

I find myself watching myself like a hawk for any sign of acting on the horrible thoughts, which drives up the anxiety levels and causes more bad thoughts.

You are doing very well to get back to work. In January, I'll have been back for a year. That's a big landmark for me.

Best wishes.

A