little me..health anxiety n panic attacks

[smiley_baby1304]

hi... im tess and im 16 and have suffered from anxiety/ panic attacks since my dad had a stroke a year and a half ago

whats really been bothering me is
1. i have been having chronic headaches and although i am seeing a chiro and he assures me its because of my back and nerves and i feel better when he adjusts me, i am still convinced that
a) i have a brain tumour or
b) theres something wrong with my blood vessels and im going to have a stroke or an anerysm and die

i know the reasons behind this...my dad obviously, a kid at my school had an anerysm and i had a dream once that i had a brain tumour and only had 3 months to live.
im constantly thinking about my headaches, researching them etc

i also get these really random pains in my head that dont go away with paracetamol. they're sharp, start in my neck and "shoot" forward and then disappear. i have read about other people having these but its still so so scary because they are so severe.

umm i also get strange kind of anxiety sometimes, that depersonalisation stuff. sometimes it just comes on for no reason, like today when i was walking home from the park i thought i was about to pass out and die.

i also get panic attacks about my mum, my brother and my boyfriend. i freak out if they have a headache or arent home when they are supposed to be or if they dont answer their phones when i call them. this is when my anxiety is at its worst, when i lose control basically

i also have insomnia most nights, i have to watch tv with the light on and i often wake up with a panic attack or at least anxiety. mainly because i wake up and have a headache (not a bad one, its because of my bakc and neck I KNOW THIS which is so annoying buyt anxiety isnt logical is it?)
i always give myeslf half an hour and i say "if it gets worse, then say something"
its really starting to affect my everyday life. all i can think about is my headaches and the "symptoms" that im having, im not my bubbly, happy go lucky self, i just want to concentrate on the pain. im scared to move around or have fun in case i rupture a blood vessel (its so stupid i know). my mind is in constant overdrive

i know i need counselling or something, but i dont want my mum to know because she would freak out and thats another thing to deal with on top of everything else...and i dont want to go to the doctor because
a) he will think im stupid
b) there might actaully be something wrong with me in which case i dont want to know because im so afraid of dying i cant sleep.

im just so glad i found this site, to have a support network, somewhere that is positive


OK thats enough crazy from me today...
=D thanks for reading this super long post

[lillady123]

Hi Tess I just joined the site too but Ive suffered anxiety for 6 years. Dont let yours go on that long!! Just to put your mind at rest (hopefully) Im training to be a Speech and Language Therapist. I learn alot about strokes and work with stroke patients. I have never come accross anyone so young as you have a stroke. Strokes generally occur in older people, certainly not 16 year old girls. I have a brain tumour its not cancerous and pretty harmless but in a weird way Im kinda glad I got it as I now know the difference beween anxiety and real symptoms (half my face is totally numb). If u had a brain tumour you would feel weird things you dont normally feel. Seriously you're fine

I know you dont want to but I think you should talk to your mum. She'll probably be alot more understanding than u think. Just try not to worry. Easier said than done I know. Ive wasted 6 years of my life worrying and Im determined not to do it anymore. Life is for having fun especcially when your so young.

Take care xxx

[manmoor]

Hi Tess,

A big warm welcome to you. I too suffer from health anxiety and know just how hard it can be for us hun. Everyone here is very supportive and its nice to have you onboard. xxx

[MessedUp]

Any doctor who would think you're stupid should be struck off - especially after the understable stress about what's happened to your dad.
Go to the doc and ask for help... (they've seen it all before, and far worse) you're suffering and you'll benefit from it.

Make sure you tell them the whole story so they know how badly affected you've been, and you should get the help you need. If not - in the unlikely event you're not taken seriously - seek a second opinion. You DO need help with the anxiety. In fact, that's the first thing I'd mention. Start with the anxiety, insomnia and phobia stuff, and let the doctor work his way to discovering WHAT you're worrying about. You'll be taken far more seriously that way - make the anxiety the main issue and the reassurance will follow about your headache fears.

There are very many causes of headaches, and you're actually making them more likely by worrying so much! On the pie chart of likely causes, the ones you fear most are a tiny wafer thin slither of that pie!

It seems a terrible shame that you feel you can't talk to your mum about it. She must be stressed too, but I'm sure she'd want to know how you feel. I'm a parent and I'd hate to feel my little ones would keep such worries from me. Can you try to make a start and talk to her? Pick a good moment, go easy at first, and if it doesn't get you anywhere then at least you've tried and you've got something else to tell the doctor.
You're stuck in a web of worry and seeking help is the by far the best way out. No-one will think you're silly - they will admire you for tackling it in the most mature way.
Good luck

[Lindalou64]

HELLO TESS AND WELCOME TO THE SITE I WISH YOU WELL........LINDA

[honeybee3939]

Hi Tess

Welcome to NMP, its lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice, support and make new friends too.

Love

Andrea
xxxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Tess

Just wanted to you aboard and hope we can be of some help.

You will meet some great people on here and get loads of support and advice.

[chalky]

Hi Tess,

Welcome to NMP.

There's loads of support and advice readily available for you here

Best wishes ,
Chalky

[Southern_Belle]

Tess,

Hello and welcome to the site. Many here have felt like you do and you will find that you are not alone.

Hugs,

Laura

[familymatters]

Hi Tess,
I am also new here but a wee bit older than you!!
I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad at the moment but it is of course completely understandable after what youve been thru. Please dont be ashamed of how you feel its not your fault, but the only way to stop it is to deal with it and you cant do that on your own.
I have adaughter the same age as you and I know that it would break my heart if I thought she was trying to deal with what you are alone. I know your mum has a lot to deal with but I'm sure she would rather you asked for her help, she is your mum after all and its not your job to protect and look after her, its the other way round. So please think about talking to her about it and then go to the Gp and explain how youve been feeling, they wont laugh or think youre stupid they will try and help you and probably refer you for counselling or something. Please please dont try and deal with this alone, ask for help from the people who love you, thats what theyre there for.
Good luck honey and let us know how you get on.