Terrible health anxiety

[Amanda3266]

Longish post here so apologies but I am suffering from dreadful health anxiety and panic attacks at the moment. For some reason I have convinced myself that I have something major wrong with me even though I have no symptoms to speak of except the anxiety and panic symptoms listed on the "Symptoms" page - worst is the hot flash/burning sensation after which I just feel real terror. At it's worst the anxiety is paralyzing and I can hardly get on with the day.

My Mum suffered from this for years but is now a changed woman since taking Seroxat which has been a wonder drug for her (but which did not help me). I have always worried about little symptoms and health problems but it's never felt this out of control before.

The worst stuff started after I had my son 5 years ago and started experiencing severe chest pain which felt like severe indigestion spread all over my back - this turned out to be gall stones and I had my gall bladder out. Unfortunately before this was diagnosed I had too many doctors telling me I was depressed and experiencing anxiety indigestion.
I used to get the hot flashes then as well and in time put it down to my Liver Function Tests being abnormal - which they were because of the gall stones (which probably was NOT the cause of the hot flashing as I was also experiencing panic then as well).

Last weekend I went out with my hubby and drank too much wine - felt hungover the next day and had a hot flash which freaked me out as I thought I must have damaged my liver - since then I have been getting them daily - mostly in the morning as by evening when I have calmed down I feel normal and don't get them at all. I am also symptom free at work when my mind is occupied with other things.

My Mum says that there is nothing wrong with me except anxiety and panic attacks. Mine are so similar to what she experienced that she can practically describe the timings of them and everything.

Part of me feels I should have all the blood tests done to reassure myself but am too scared in case they show anything up. My Mum says that having the blood tests would be brave but that they are unnecessary as I am not ill but I cannot convince myself of that and I am noting every little twinge and ache. What I fear is cancer (I lost an acquaintance to liver cancer 7 years ago). I have none of the symptoms she did but this is what I am fearing.

It didn't help that I came back to work after Christmas to find that one of my young Mums (I'm a health visitor) had died suddenly and unexpectedly(a rare event) from a blood clot in her lung.

My GP has given me Venlafaxine tabs and some Diazepam (for emergencies only) and I have to go back and see him in two weeks. I've only been on the Venlafaxine for 5 days so far and I know it'll be a couple of weeks before they kick in.

Should I face my fears and book in for the blood tests - I had a Well Woman check about 3 years ago when all these tests were done (and were all normal) - to my knowledge the only thing I suffer with now is raised blood pressure.

Help me - I think I am going crazy with this and I just want to feel normal again.

[chalky]

Hi Amanda,

Sorry to hear that things are rough at the minute. Acceptance can make us or break us.The "normal" person would have no problem accepting your mother's take on this.Meanwhile,you or I would move the goalposts to justify our worries.We become comfortable only when we have something to worry about.We drive ourselves harder and harder to punishing extremes.
You are able to recognise the impact this pattern of thinking is having on your health and that is what it is.A pattern.So we must try to change.One day at a time,we must try to practise acceptance of ourselves as we are not as we think we are.
Days become weeks become months become years of strength built up to resist our skewed thinking.
You can beat this!!!
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Johnalexander20]

Nice post Chalky , totally agree.

What helped for me was to write everything down before I visited my GP. Even if it is the fear of blood tests or whatever.

Good luck

[Panic1971]

Hi Amanda

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am trying to deal with health anxiety too at the minute accompanied with major panic/anxiety.

You are not alone.

Take care x

[Amanda3266]

Feeling a bit better - not 100% yet though. Lost 1lb in weight this week and obsessed about why. (Nothing to do with the fact that the anxiety makes me not want to eat and am therefore eating much less lol)

[breeze25]

Sorry your feeling so bad, I can echo that my HA started after I had my son. I felt like you did suffered all sorts of anxiety symptoms but thought that something else was triggering them. Think I am just starting to accept that it is anxiety and that helps me deal with things a little bit better.

Hope your feeling better soon, It does help me to know that I am not alone.