2 problems: love and embarasment

[Rennie1989]

Problem 1:

After seeing my boyfriend I went home and went on msn to talk to friends. My ex started talking to me and because he wasn't nice to me ages ago I decided to annoy him. When my boyfriend signed on I thanked him for saving me and told him why, he's been upset since yesterday evening and it's affected me big time.

I had a bad panic attack, whilst down the phone to him, and I just couldn't stop crying. I felt so scared that he would leave me. But deep down I knew he wouldn't, I was just talking to my ex, and we're planning on being engaged soon. All day today I haven't eaten, only a cereal bar at college and half a bowl of super noodles. I start to feel slightly hungry then as soon as I get contact with my boyfriend my appetites gone!

Is it normal, for somebody with 'panic disorder', to feel like that and react so badly. If that was my ex telling me not to talk to somebody I wouldn't have reacted like this.


Problem 2:

I had a panic attack at college before the Christmas holidays and all of my lecturers know about it, even my class mates. My pasteral tutor was telling me that I need to go and see a doctor and see the college counsellor, in a way that I kind of had no choice.

The thing is, I'm too embarased, scared and ashamed. I am embarased because I make a right fool of myself during an attack, I'm scared because I don't want to be looked down apon and I don't want it to affect my future employment, I'm ashamed because I can't control myself!

I currently have frozen shoulder, I've been to the doctors and hospital with no problem though when it comes to my panic attacks I don't want help, it's like I'm trying to hide it away and hoping that the more I hide it it will eventually disappear.

Is this too normal for somebody like me. I don't feel like that with other conditions though I do with my panic attacks.

[lesleyB]

Hi Jadey, I don't know what to say about problem 1. but problem 2. I think you feel embarasment because you think people would look down on you and think you are weak.I used to think that , but after counselling I have got over that way of thinking. Don't be embarased to seek help doctors and counsellers are here to help you and not judge you, and don't forget we are here to help too.
Lesleyb

[Jen84]

Hi Jadey

I remember when an ex and i used to fight or had an arguement with a friend I would feel awful, i think its natural for panickers because we always fear the worse and often over think things! You have to eat as panicky feelings can come on from a lack of food and try and relax hun!
Hope you're ok!

Jen x

[Rennie1989]

Thanks for the comments guys!

With my fiance being as supportive as he is to me I don't feel embarased, just ashamed with myself because I've let him witness me have a panic attack. I can get help with these but these feelings will never go away because i love him too much to hurt him.

I'm glad that I am not the only one feeling like this, that's a great relief