getting old and looking foward

[JennyW]

I'm 40 and have suffered with health anxiety since losing my father. I have a huge fear over dying too young, getting cancer is the worse fear although I know there are heaps of other things which could affect me, but cancer is my demon.

As I said, I'm 40 now. Very happily married, close family, good job - on the outside - all happy but inside I'm filled with this horrid fear of dying before my time (as my dad did ). And as a woman I've recently been thinking "what have I got to look forward to, as each year I get older, my risk of breast cancer goes up". Each decade, 40's, 50's and 60's - it's going to go up and I cant stop worrying about it. Any help please?

[manmoor]

Hi Jenny,

I too developed my health anxiety after my dads death hun I think we all worry about getting older. Cancer too is my biggest demon and I dwell on it constantly on bad days. I think we have so much to look forward to if only we could tell this to our minds but I know what you mean(we are our own worst enemies) Have a big hug from me and hopefully you'll feel better soon xxx

[Janieb]

yes your chances of breast cancer increase with ever decade but so do the chances of finding a cure! have to think positive....and I keep telling myself that even if it kills me.

Cancer is my ultimate fear of fears, I am discussing this with my therapist atm. But you have to think on the + side there have been HUGE advancements lately for breast cancer and it's treatment so there is a plus and hopefully there will be large advancements on other cancers soon. A lot of it is not as bad as it used to be survival rates are getting better. I try and take comfort in this hopefully it might bring some comfort to you as well.

And...there is still a chance you might not get it. I think the current stats are 1 in 4, that still leaves you 75% chance of not getting cancer.

Take care,
Janie

[JennyW]

And...there is still a chance you might not get it. I think the current stats are 1 in 4, that still leaves you 75% chance of not getting cancer.

when it's illustrated like this, it feels a lot better - thank you. It just always seem doom and gloom when you read about percentages. Figures are always presented on how likely you are to get it and NOT get it.

Thanks guys. I will take your on board your positive thoughts

[Morchie]

Jenny

You are not alone, I am also 40 this year and worry about my health and getting cancer is also in my mind I have a 4 year old boy and i am so scared of getting cancer and not seeing him grow up, but I try to think that most cancers are still rare at our age, my worry at the mo is stomach cancer which i know is 1 in 1,000 000 in someone under 55 but i still getting worked up about it as I had my first lot of intigestion and heartburn and I am still burping two weeks later.

Breast cancer now has very good survial rate nowadays I know at least 4 people who have had it and all are alive and well.

Take care
Morchie

[coxwit]

I turned 40 two years ago and that is when it seems my Health Anxiety began as a constant. My cousin (54 years old) had died of Pancreatic Cancer and so I developed the pains between the shoulder blades and under the bottom right rib. Ultrasound negative of course. Now this past fall two different acquaintances with colon cancer and my IBS is acting up full blast and lower back pain. Both of which I know go along with anxiety however it is really messing with my head. I think what you said was right about hitting the 40 watershed being a bit of a trigger and perhaps therefore having to contemplate our own mortality.

Andy

[JennyW]

I turned 40 two years ago and that is when it seems my Health Anxiety began as a constant. My cousin (54 years old) had died of Pancreatic Cancer and so I developed the pains between the shoulder blades and under the bottom right rib. Ultrasound negative of course. Now this past fall two different acquaintances with colon cancer and my IBS is acting up full blast and lower back pain. Both of which I know go along with anxiety however it is really messing with my head. I think what you said was right about hitting the 40 watershed being a bit of a trigger and perhaps therefore having to contemplate our own mortality.

Andy

Yes I understand. If I hear of someone who's died of something or become ill, I then get worried and start thinking "what if I get that" - it's mad. I'm also aware that breast cancer is third in line for the cancers in women. Lung being the first - but this doesn't worry me. Our demons are terrible things.

I see you're from Canada - I've just returned from Banff last week. I was ski-ing out there

[worriedGrace]

I know how you feel about cancer, I am 59 and have spent at least 30 years worrying about getting it. I really never dreamed that I would live this long. I have seen several therapists over the years an at times I can be quite logical about it then something sets me off. I used to worry about cancer of the womb and told my doctor that I was saving up to get a hysterectomy privately and he said that I would just choose another part to worry about. He was right I now worry about bowel cancer. Joining this site has helped me already knowing that others are battling the same demons.

[kestral]

i am also 59 and find it difficult to think of the future as its always in my mind there isnt many years left and if i live as long as my dad [he died when he was 95] or mum[85] will i be in good enough health to have any quality. i suffer from high bp and have palps etc although i still get out and about.

[Alisonj]

I am 31 but my dad died when he was 40 and all I keep thinking is how close I am getting to that age.
I try to think of it as, cancer doesnt have an age. It hits babies as well as teenagers etc. If we spend our lives now worrying about something that may or may not happen we will have wasted our lives.
It is incredibily hard not to worry, it is our nature but try to live in the now. Live each day as its own and not for what may happen.
Relaxation, meditation, exercise, and journaling have all been amazing helps to me. Maybe they could be helpful for you as well,
Lots and lots of hugs because I know how dreadful this is.