More Pressure!!

[sal]

Things never go smoothly do they, so the saying goes.

Got myself totally anxious as more pressure has been put on me. As you know my brother and me eventually got mum moved, with a lot of hassle and some unkind things said. So at present we both feel we want a bit of distance. We werent close and now we realise that mum and dad did a lot to prevent us being close. So thats the good news to come out of it.

Well mum has gone skiing for the week, hence why i have got her dog as i was off work and i couldnt justify her paying for a kennel when she doesnt work and will soon realise (i hope) that she will have to curb her spending so she doesnt use all her savings in one go.

Well she has phoned me just now from Italy to tell me she has broken her ankle and snapped her crucia (cant spell) ligament. So who will be the one that has to run around and pick up the piece - ME.

I know it isnt her fault but she had a knee operation 6 months ago and we did advice her that maybe her skiing days were over. My mum has been really nasty to my sister in law so she wont have anything to do with her and i cant blame her. My brother is busy gutting the old farmhouse where mum lived before they move in. It may sound selfish, but i will hopefully be back at work by the end of next week and with having sam full time how am i going to cope looking after her and her dog as she wont be able to have him for at least 6 weeks.

I know people will say dont let her put on me, but she has a pot on all the way up her leg and wont be able to do a thing.

I had a vision that something would go wrong on this skiing holiday.

As one problem solves another one arises. I seem to be one of these people that just gets over one thing and another one slaps me right in the face.

Sorry to twist but got my i cant cope with this head on.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[bubbles]

Sal,

So sorry to hear the latest development & how it is being dumped at your feet again.

Is there no-one else who could look after her, at least take it in turns with you? Has she any friends who could help out?

Maybe on this occasion you will have to be a bit selfish, if it's possible! As you say you have enough on with work & fitting in with Sam's care. You are right--your mum probably shouldn't have gone skiing 6 months after a knee op & she was a bit selfish to do so.

I broke my leg badly a few years ago, crutches for 5 months, no weight bearing in the affected leg for 3 months---& I lived alone then, steep stairs, loo etc upstairs. I had to manage. Had some help from good friends but still had to manage--it's amazing what you can do with one leg & arms slung over crutches!! What I'm trying to say---is don't let her put on you totally.

Hope there is some resolution/easier way to deal with it.

Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

[nomorepanic]

Sal

What a put-on for you eh?

Can anyone else rally round and help too so you don't have to do it all.

She has to understand that you are busy with your life too and have Sam to look after as well.

I hope it works out ok Sal.
x

Nicola

[bluebottle]

Sal, there are two siblings here and it mustn't fall on you to carry the burden just because you always have in the past. Your brother has to do his bit and that is something he has to understand.

Would you like me to come around Sal and have a word? One look at me and he'll be putty in your hands.

Regards,

Blue
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[seh1980]

hi Sal,

You poor thing!! No wonder it seems like it's just one thing after the other..Hopefully your brother will try to do a little bit to take some of the pressure off you. Let me know if you want me to have Sam at all - it wouldn't be a problem at all!!

Sarah

[FAN]

hi sorry to hear you got more to contend with, i find that like you i get all the responsibility piled on me and always took it but now i point out that although i will do my share i cant be responsible for everything, i know its hard to tell them you cant do it and they must help but in the long run you have a life too, i hope you find a way of getting your brother to help you

fan x

[sal]

Hi Guys

Thanks so much for your replies. The distance between my mum and brother isnt something i could mend, so it will be down to me. She is home on sunday and rather than going to her new how it will be better to stay here so on monday morning i can get her straight to the hospital.

I know this is going to be a nightmare, but although she hasnt given me the childhood i would have like, its no time to decide to let her down when she needs me most.

Im too soft but i will do my best to give her all the support she needs, maybe one day she will see how she let me down. But thats another story.

Thanks again.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[bluebottle]

I think our parents letting us down is a common theme with people who suffer from anxiety/depression and other mental health issues. Its not always that way, but more often than not it is.

My mum and dad both let me down as a child Sal so I know how you feel.

(((Sal)))

Regards,

Blue
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[sal]

Thanks mate. I cant understand how they did having a daughter myself, but thats a different story, just pleased i didnt follow in their parenting skills. But still me that picks up the pieces. Is stressful enough with looking after a parent that you respect but one that you have major doubts about but still feel they are reliant and expect, is a completely different story. Would be happy to do it even if caused me stress if there was a relationship worthy of it.

But not one to back away from the right thing to do, so she wont be let down.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[bluebottle]

If it helps Sal, ask yourself honestly if you love her. Not if you like or respect her. I suspect the answer will be yes, in which case it is something to hold on to. Not much I know, but it may help, I hope so flower.

Regards,

Blue
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