Fear breeds fear do you agree?

[DeniseB]

Hi All,

I haven't posted for a while - but like many others I find I often come back to NMP as it has always been a great help to me to read other peoples experiances and techniques.

A thing that has been playing on my mind latley is ... Before I had the companion of panic, elements of agraphobia et al I was always quite an outgoing and adventurous person. Since, I have found that I seem to breed fear in the most unlikley senarios at times and I fear things now that I never did before! Is this common? Yes I understand association and avoidance of situations were panic has occured but I find I now fear situations or new experiances where panic has never been an issue to the point that I think I can be afraid of (or aprehensive) of most things!!!!! It becomes almost a daily challenge! Sometimes I feel like I am on the road to victory and then I seem to have a blast of here we go again just when I think I am making ground.

Any thoughts???

[Rennie1989]

I agree. Before I had panic attacks I was (mentally and emotionally) healthy. Within the last few years my panic attacks have caused me to avoid social situations, make me slightly depressed and I've gained more phobias.

I think it is becaus when we discover the route course of the attack we avoid that situation or we grow to fear it. I was bullied when I was little and before my attacks came I was fine in social situations, but now I am always wary of them. I used to hate dentists before my attacks but now I am terrified of them!

[Tom_M]

People who have never experienced a panic attack are totally unaware of the emotional and physical symptoms that you experience with a panic attack, and because they haven't, they don't fear them. However, once you experience one, and weren't able to prevent it, you develop a fear of them which sticks in the back of your mind. Ideally, it would be great to eradicate any memory of them in your mind so you are basically back to where you where before your first experienced one. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen, so the next best thing is to modify how you react to panic, or to try and prevent panic in the first place.

[Gryphoenix]

That is totally me! I could have written that post.

I'm so dissapointed every time I think of how much of an adventerous person I used to be and how chicken I feel nowadays. I mean I'm a lot better than before but like you I still feel so apprehensive of situations that could possibly breed panic even though I've never panicked in it. I've got myself into a right state over something that would not be scary for anyone else. I'm always thinking ahead, ahead, ahead, preparing myself for some new situation and making plans in case I do panic.

I think there's just some core fear that we haven't addressed yet. Because technically we've panicked so much we know we can get through it and survive. And yeah, they're uncomfortable and I hate going through it so that could bring up the apprehension. Except I have a fear of my heart (I'm getting better at it) and that still bothers me sometimes. Once I finally defeat this fear once and for all I really think my panics will stop.

So anyway, I figure it's like this: we both like adventure, right? Adventure naturally breeds adrenaline and feels like you're on a rush. Guess what panic is? It's the same thing as if you're on some grand incredibly exciting adventure. Going to the store can be thrilling for us panicky types.

So I'm thankful that I can have adventures a lot more easily and my daily life can be a huge thrill.

[DeniseB]

\thanks to you all for your replys!! ##

Gryphoenix - ditto always thinking ahead and similaly always try to think of the panic as the adrenaline that used to excite me rather than the fear that spites me lol For us its not just the challange of the panic but also (sometimes) the loss of the care free, up for anything spirit that is part of us!

Tom - 'the next best thing is to modify how you react to panic' Never a truer word said! I try this regulaly and on the whole it works well - I just need to keep modifying and not let the feelings override what I want achieve if that makes sense!

And Janey i too was petrified of the dentist but like most things the more I went the easier it was and I always thought to myself the uncomfort was worth the lack of agony of toothache!!

[jac10]

Hello everyone! I just joined today

It's such a comfort to see others feel like me!! Really identify with what you said Tom - 'the next best thing is to modify how you react to panic.'

I really want to learn how to do that - at the moment i'm at the mercy of my panic and anxiety. Totally freak out as soon as i start acknowledging that i'm getting anxious! Gets better when i distract myself (count to ten or concentrate on breathing etc) but it'd probably be best if i just didnt overreact to the anxiety in the first place.

Any suggestions?? Thanks

[Blot]

Oh yes, panic-adrenalin-anxiety-panic-again, again again.I look back to the time before I experienced panic - I was free, adventurous, took so much for granted. I think that I have always had an overdevelped sense of responsibility & as a result I have been a worrier so I wonder if this was the stepping stone to anxiety & panic? The thing is how do I know that my symptoms are directly related to panic and not some physical condition like heart disease? I also wonder whether my anxiety was aggravated by living in a crime riddled country. I do not live there anymore but could I be suffering from post traumatic stress?

[melody]

HI,

The thing I find very surprising is that so many people seem to focus more on the sensations of panic. The thing I fear the most every single day is that I'm not good enough. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy, so the attacks just feel like what I deserve. I hate who I am. I feel terrified everyone else feels the same. I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong.

I was also bullied. By the majority of most classes at school after I was sufferring depression because of grief & also had to move, they told me constantly I was a freak & I could never fit in. My family was all split up, it was very sad. The teachers put the blame on me as being the troublemaker because I was the minority. After school I moved on & got a job. After 6 years at my employer I was injured at work and they bullied me for 2 years because they wanted me to resign to avoid liability, or to be strong enough to do full duties. I was mostly bedridden so neither was an option. They told me constantly that I was incompetent, that I wasn't trying and spread rumours about me so that noone would speak to me. I got heavily depressed again. When they disbelieved I couldn't walk that day & pressured me to work harder, I had my first panic attack.

I guess I agree that all my panic attacks are being afraid of being afraid, but really I'm more afraid of being trapped in large groups of people and having them act so hatefully to me again & again. I am afraid I won't be able to say no to people, and I could hurt my already painful back just because someone tricked me with their words.

I don't think I'm scared of fear. I think I'm scared of myself always repeating the same patterns and never learning from it. My mind is trying to snap me out of it by making me want to get out of bad situations like from my past, but the message is no longer relevant. I think if I can ever find a way to heal my self esteem & forgive the preceived monsters, all of this hell I am putting myself through will disappear forever. At the same time I really don't know exactly what that means.

[Blot]

Hi Melody, It seems as though your fear is that of being rejected & shunned bc you do not feel good enough. YOU ARE SPECIAL, GIRL, YOU were made with a purpose in mind, you have a right to be happy, loved. You are worthwhile, you are unique, there is no one else on earth like YOU.Bless you