Daisy goes Driving again!!
This Morning i was reading my book "CBT for Dummies". http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:...or_dummies.jpg
There isn't that much in it on Anxiety and Agoraphobia so I just read the few pages that there are... and avoided the bits about suicide thoughts as they don't really help!!
So the best bits were when they say "Anxiety will die, and it won't ever kill you, so if you are having a panic attack, it's ok, and you will be fine..." The Big "But" is that this is fine if you really believe it!! After reading these pages I thought "Right! I need to go out and try to drive again... Mr Daisy wasn't in the house, he was at work 8 miles away, so I thought I could drive to him again as he is finishing at 3pm - so he can follow me home again. So I only have to drive one way on my own. Well it's ok to think that, but it was 8 miles to him - so it's not really like just goimg down the road to your local shop! But Daisy thinks "Let's try. I did it on Monday and I'm still here and didn't freak out!!" Trouble is, when you do something the first time and you're really buzzing about going, the second time seems like you are confronting Anxiety head on... and seems somewhat harder...but maybe that's just me.
Here is the story about my day. It's called...
Daisy goes Driving again!!
Daisy gets her little girl Orla, who's 2, ready to go out. She tells Orla "We're going in Mummy's car to see Daddy at work." So once Orla is ready, they walk a few feet out the front door, to Daisy's little red Clio. Daisy puts Orla in the car seat, gets in the driving seat, and, most important! checks her hair and make up in the mirror (lol).
She starts the car, puts her Music on and drives out her courtyard through a carpark and to the junction with the main road and sits and waits for a car to come along to follow so that she can think that she isn't on the open road on her own.. Daisy waits and waits...... and waits but no car comes along the road. But then Orla (who's getting bored) says "LETS GO!!"
So... Daisy thinks oh f**k it and indicates left and drives... Luckily for Daisy a car comes up behind her, a big red car. Daisy's anxiety lessons a little, Daisy lets the car drive past her so she can see it in front to make her think she's not alone.
Driving along the road, Daisy tells herself that she's doing really well and the anxiety bully isn't going to win... She just drives on. But then the big red car infront goes faster and faster so Daisy gets a bit anxious and drives faster and faster too, but the Big red car just goes zoooooooooooooom...
And So Daisy gets left behind on her own on a straight country road, and starts to think lots of really unpleasant things such as she's going to start screaming and panicking and she will loose control and all... Go crazy!!
But suddenly Daisy thinks back to what the CBT book says about anxiety - anxiety does die if you sit on it.. so Daisy starts to believe that it can happen and she will be ok. So...... Daisy drives on!!
After Driving a couple more miles Daisy is now like nearly half way, She notices that Mr Daisy's big silver car is driving toward her and goes past...
Daisy thinks "Oh bugger!!" and pulls in off the road. She phones Mr Daisy on the mobile, and tells Mr Daisy that she is driving in her car and he's just passed her...so Daisy turns around and Mr Daisy is waiting for her in a layby and they both drive their cars home. Mr Daisy had got off work early, and that's why he was driving home.
The Moral of the Story is that Daisy is starting to believe - for the first time! - that she can get her life back on track if she is very brave and stands up to the anxiety bully. And she found out that anxiety really does die whilst you are panicking...so it's ok to try to do new things step by step....
ps.. there will be a "Daisy goes Driving 2" very soon xx
The End
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