Checking

[Dying_Swan]

Afternoon

I'm hoping some of you will know where I'm coming from with this one. It drives me mad.

I'm always checking things.

Sounds odd....but there are certain things I feel I have to check lots and lots. It becomes part of my routine, only the routine is getting longer and more irrational! It usually isn't a problem on my days off, but work days is much worse.

So - here are the things, before I go to bed:

Front door locked
Sofa not on fire (I smoke)
Ashtray safe (I now fill it with water to be on the 'safe side')
Backdoor locked
Catflap locked.
Oven and cooker off.

This might not sound too irrational, but the number of times I have to keep checking makes it a problem.

The worst thing now (and for some time) has been setting my alarm clock. Oh god this sounds, and is, so stupid!
I work shifts which start at some ungodly hour. A few years ago I overslept a few times and turned up for work late. This is a big 'no no' in my world, and so I became really anxious about it. It developed into insomnia the nights before I had to work. I was so worried about sleeping in that I wouldn't go to sleep.
Anyway...now I sleep a bit better, but I get so obsessive about setting alarms! I have 4 alarms 2 next to my bed with snooze, and 2 across the other side of the room. And then I check it loads and loads. It can take me about half an hour to believe that I have actually set them!

I haven't overslept and been late for work since 2003, so it is not really rational at all! Recently though, someone was calling for me at 7am to go somewhere and I was fast asleep....so that has increased my anxiety all over again.

I'm sorry it is sooooooo silly and I know that. I know it's obsessive compulsive and I know it will get worse and extend to other areas if I don't knock it on the head.

So I was just wondering if anyone out there has any advice for 'checking'. I've read about it and you are supposed to just not do it and feel uncomfortable. Then I don't sleep! But any advice would be great because I feel like a right wally!

Thanks guys

xxx

[bluesparkle]

hello
i too have ocd of the checking kind!
i disagree with not doing it and feeling uncomfortable...
my counsellor told me to go with it and just gradually stop... like one thing at a time...
sorry not very good at typing what i want to say hope this makes sense.
i have got better...not cured!
i do still have certain things that i need to check or put straight so i just do it and not worry about it and hope that in time that will go too, also when you stop something it often gets replaced with something else that is when i try not to do it and think well i never used to do that.
it is horrible and i know how you feel... but i used to be awful and it has got much better yours will do too.
if you would like to talk more just give me a shout.
and do not feel like a "wally" because you are not...
and it is only our minds playing tricks on us...
rach
x

[kazzie]

Hey Swanny

I used to be like that when I was a kid

Had to perform certain rituals or bad things would happen!!!!

One was to kiss each of my teddies 100 times before I went to bed and I had loads of teddies so it was pretty time consuming lol

I still get the urge to do and check things but have learned to ignore it!!!

Try cutting down slowly try just not checking one thing to begin with and that should help you believe that its all in your mind

Luv Kaz x x x

[chalky]

Hi Swan,

The fact that are confronting this openly shows that you are clearly moving in the right direction.
If need be,print out a list of the things that you really need to do before bedtime,and tick them off one by one as you do them.This will remove the doubt from your mind and replace it with confidence that things have been done properly.
I am fanatical about being late for work-I hate tardiness.My kids laugh at this part of me but accept that it is typical of my generation.I think of it as being responsible.If all your alarms clocks are working but you do not actually need them all,remove one at a time and as your confidence grows,this will lessen the stress this causes you.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Dying_Swan]

Thanks guys.

Glad to know I'm not alone, even if I am the only alarm clock fanatic!

I think I have been improving a bit - I do spend less time checking things as I know it needs to be dealt with. It's reassuring to hear you all say that you don't need to just stop it all at once!

I read about it a little, and it says that the cause is low self esteem and and a lack of confidence in your memory. Apparently you keep checking because you don't trust yourself to remember you've done it.

I think the checklist is a good idea. Might give that one a go!

Will keep on trying! Thanks again for your replies

xxx

[Bill]

Hello Swan,

I've always been a "checker" too.

Making a checking list is fine providing you don't start checking and re-checking the checking list to make sure you've checked something!

I found the only way I built my confidence in being able to rely on "me" was to confirm to myself that I'd checked something.

For instance, if checking the back door, I'd say to myself "locked" at the same time then walk away to the next thing. In the morning, go back to the door and you'll find it was locked. The confirmation that you locked it the night before will in time gradually prove to yourself that you can rely on yourself and then the stress will ease.

By the way, I have 3 alarm clocks! All are set 10 mins or so apart in case I turn over and go back to sleep!

You're NOT stupid or a wally....you're just feeling under too much stress!

[Dying_Swan]

Aww thanks Bill!

I'm glad I'm not alone with the alarm clock thing! I did manage to sleep through them today, although somewhere in my mind was the fact that I needed to get up! Fortunately I'm not working so it doesn't matter.

Last night I did well and was too tired to bother about much checking!

xxx

[louwilliams]

Swan


I check:

The sofa is not on fire
the cooker is off (even though its gas)
the back door is locked

I also walk round the whole house "sniffing" for any sign of smoke or fire (i had a fire in a house about 7 years ago)

Oh and the last thing.......... not only do I fill the ashtrays with water, I also pour a glass of water into the bin just in case a cig has not been put out properly and starts a fire in the night

so no, your now alone lol

lou xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[kate]

I only smoke outside, ashtray is on slabs, BUT I also have to fill it with water and swish all the fag ends around to make sure they really are all out

I also check the doors a billion times, the cooker, the hair straighteners and the handbrake on the car.

I also wont throw the fag ends in the bin until they have been left overnight to make sure they are out.

Kate

[Dying_Swan]

Oh my god it so isn't just me then!

Thanks guys - not that I'm happy you all do this too, it's just so familiar! Fire seems to be my latest thing, and it can take some time and a lot of water in ashtrays, plus a lot of looks in the bin, to make me believe it isn't on fire. And even then I worry on the way to work!

Thanks for your replies

xxx