Things seem to be looking up!!!(WELL THEY DID!)

[linjane]

Just an update really to last weeks miserable post. Things at home are getting better, my husband is helping more in the house and starting work later so he is able to look after our little boy for a bit, before he brings him to me at my shop. He is asking his mom for more help looking after the kids at weekends and holidays, so that is less pressure and today he sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers to my shop!!! On top of that, I have had a good week in my shop and even that seems to be looking up! Went to see my counsellor yesterday and unfortunately spent half of the sessions talking about my ectopics, but I think overall it is working because I am talking about things in a different way and beginning to feel a bit better - except for the missed beats. If they would go things would be easier to control, although probably a different symptom that frightens me just as much would probably appear!!!
Just thought I would share my week with you. It has been hectic, but ok and even though the ectopics got to me at the start of it, I wouldn't allow them to stop me doing anything. I have also decided that I am going to visit Cory's grave and my mom and dads and nan and grandads. On 15th May, it will have been 3years since Cory was born/died so I think this will be a 'good' time to visit him and also it is 10years next month since I lost my mom and I haven't been to any of their graves since we lost Cory and I feel now I have to face all of this and really try to get there. I used to go regularly until we lost Cory (birthdays, mothers day, xmas etc..) but have found it hard since this happened as I found it hard to go to Cory's grave and then would have felt guilty if I had been to everyone elses and not his! They are also about 20 miles apart, my mom,dad, nan and grandad are all in the same cemetary in Birmingham but Cory is in Walsall.

Sorry, this was meant to be a positive post. Apart from ectopics I am feeling better and would like to thank everyone who takes time out to answer my posts.

Love,
Linda.xx

[seh1980]

hello Linda,

I'm very happy to hear that things are looking up for you. It's great that your husband has started to help you out a little more - I guess he has realised just how much you do every day. Hope things stay like this!!

Sarah

[nomorepanic]

Linda

I am so pleased that things have picked up. I have been reading all your posts and following the struggles etc.

Great news and it is great that hubbie is helping more now too.

Thanks for the post - nice to cheer us up when others feel down.

Nicola

[kairen]

I think you are incredibly brave, and should be so proud of yourself dont beat your self up about not visting, remember always in your heart, no matter were you are,, always in your thoughts, you havent neglected any of that you've just given yourself a little time untill your ready again, glad you've had good day keep positive your doing great xx kairen xx

kairen x

[sal]

Hi Linda

So pleased to hear that your husband has taken on more responsibility with the children. Maybe you did give him a wake up call and he now wants you to show how much he wants you still to be a family.

It must be hard about visiting the grave but maybe now that he is behind you and you are feeling a bit stronger it would be a good time to try it. You have over a month to prepare yourself and i am sure that visiting Cory's grave will be very hard but it might give you some peace and having done it once you could always go back whenever you feel the need to be on your own and let your feelings out.

You have done really well with what you have been through and i hope things carry on to improve for you.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[bubbles]

Linda,

Am really pleased for you that this week has been so much more positive. Good to hear that your husband is helping more, & that it's been a better week in your shop.

I hope that things continue to improve.


Linda. x

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

[linjane]

Hi everyone,

Feel a bit bad for my hubby today. The children are going to his moms today and tomorrow (they obviously broke up yesterday) so he presumed she would keep them overnight, to save us extra trips tonight and in the morning. Our daughter rang her, to ask if they could sleep over, ultimately, she wanted to speak to her son, who she then had a go at. She reckoned he had said he was taking them down last night (Thursday) which he adamantly says he didn't and she had put clean sheets on bed and nobody turned up! When he said, well, thats ok, if I made a mistake, but I meant for Friday, she promptly told him she needs to sleep properly and they can't stay! I felt so sorry for him and sort of blame myself that he is eventually seeing what she's like. He couldn't believe it and he must have felt so dejected. He is still taking the kids down today whilst we are both at work, even though we both felt like telling her to STICK HER HELP (if you can call it that) and he said he's still going to tell her we need help for the rest of the hols. He has suddenly realised that as a nan, she doesn't really want to help out. I don't expect her to give up her life to help us, but just some support would be nice. I must admit it did make me think of my parents and grand-parents again last night and wish I could turn back the clock, or change things so that they were here. Things would be so different.........
Oh well, one day my mother in law will realise what she has missed with her grand-children and at least I have learned one thing, which is to hope we will be good grand-parents and always there for our children.
(Haven't noticed any missed beats since late yesterday!!!Must change thoughts now so I don't trigger any, 14hours ectopic heartbeat free!!!)
Linda.xx

[zena]

Linda.. You are amazing.

I am quite lucky really My mother-in-law is brill.
She sticks up for me more than her son AND is taking my daughter over to France for a couple of days in the Summer.

Don't worry about missing going to your Mums grave. I like you have lost my Mum. Been 6 years...haven't got a grave to go to cause they are still with us...in our hearts and our minds.

Don't know if your like me but I still speak to her( sometimes out loud but don't tell anyone).

Lost my Dad also 2 years ago. He still around as well.
Don't beat yourself up. As Sal says you have some time to prepare yourself.

Keep it up you are doing so well.


with good wishes

Zena

[linjane]

Hi Zena,
Thankyou for your reply, it was lovely and again, sent me goose bumpy!

It sounded so nice, when you said your parents are still with you. I like to think of mine looking after our little boy that we lost, Cory. I think that is why he was sent to us, so that I could pass him on to my parents as they hadn't seen either of my child in their lifetimes.

You are soooo lucky to have a caring mom in law. I see so many at work (my shop is a baby shop!) and sometimes wish I could adopt a nan!

You sound as though you are doing really well. Please feel free to PM anytime you want to talk.
Take care of yourself,
Linda.xx

[angieb]

Linda - who is this new positive lady?????

I am so pleased that hubby is now providing you with some support and as difficult as the episode with his mum was it will have highlighted to him all the things that you worry about and he took for granted.

I hope that your visit with Cory is peaceful one, that allows you some time to heal, reflect and move on.

You are one brave,classy lady...respect hun!