Is this normal?

[jellybean43]

Well, after going to my doctors last Wednesday and getting the "all clear"(see my previous posts) I have had a really positive week----that is until---------for some reason i have started moving on to some thing else !!!I am sooooo annoyed with myself and I think i had hoped that this blasted HA would go away now that i have had reassurance off a third doctor.Now, I am starting prodding around with my groin and asking OH if his feels the same!!!!!

Why the heck am i doing this???OH is really no help as since i went to the docs last week he has never mentioned it!!He, just assumes(been a very very laid back person) that i am now fine and it has all disappeared.So, when i started last night he just sighs and says"ooooooo not all this again!!!".

I can only think it may be cos i have had a stressful weekend with OH really ill with flu like symptoms(he has been in bed and is still off work though he really doesnt make a fuss). I also have to go to the dentist this afternoon to have a filling replaced---again a stressful thing!!!

Any advice please????
We are going on hols next week and i dont want to start all this dreadful anxiety again!!!
On the other hand, I think i know i wont be "over" it just like that as i wouldnt be going to see a counsellor if my doctor thought that!!
Thanks everyone for all your fantastic support xxx

[anxious]

Hi Jelly,

sounds perfectly normal for health anxiety to me! I did say to you in another post when you were talking about going to your gp, only to go to talk about your anxiety because you had already had reassurance about the other things and would just move on to something else. I've being doing this for years
Your anxiety will become worse when you are stressed also so you might feel more positive again tomorrow.
Its your anxiety that needs treating, not the symptoms it gives you,

love anx xx

[Emira7]

Hey Jelly

I do this, I am reassured for a few days max, and then I start to get anxious again, or I may notice a few marks somewhere, an ache. Anything.

So I do understand hunny.

Anxious is absolutely right about it being the anxiety and not the symptoms!!

Grrr!

Emxxx

[jellybean43]

Thanks anxious---and yes that is exactly what you said to me!!!
I think when i went to the docs ---and told him everything and he(yet another doc) said all is fine(despite me still feeling the swelling LOL!!!) and he said that i definately have HA---I thought i would be ok!!!You know, suddenly i have confirmation yet again i am ok and i have been told i have HA but hey that isnt how it works is it???
I can defo recognise that when i am stressed i am more "prone" to it!!I dont like dentists, as i am sure most of us dont, and therefore the thought of this afternoons visit has been preying on mind since yesterday!!Plus OH been ill obviously just adds to your stress levels-----maybe cos i am lazy and i have had to do everything LOL LOL !!!!
Thanks again Anxious----I hope all is good with you at the moment xxxxxx

[jellybean43]

Thanks Emira------I am glad it isnt just me!!
Isnt it annoying though??
I honestly think some days i am going crazy with it!!
I have tried everything----early nights, long walks, reading happy books, watching funny tv---you name it and i have tried it!!!Nothing seems to make me feel any different---if i am under any stress at all it triggers it off!!!
I am hoping that the CBT that i am promised will do the trick!!!
xxx

[Janieb]

yep I do that, when one part of me is assured that it is ok I find something new to obsess about. Like now my head pain is gone I am worried about a numb sensation in my knee but you know it's probly always been there but any normal healthy person would not even notice it.

Or I spot something on the news or read something and I will be convinced I had it. Like the time I thought I had HIV because of a tatoo...and funny enough it was around the 1st of December world AIDS day or something.

it's all fun and games. Still I am proud, I had a smear today and have a 2 week wait for results I am not to worry about it but I know I soon will be when I run out of things

[anxious]

We are all so similar its scarey I have a few 'favourites' i fall back on when i have nothing new to worry about i.e i go on a mole checking frenzy. Its amazing how you can convince yourself somethings different and then another day you know it hasn't changed All depends how anxious you are at the time. I have certain times of the day when i don't check anything as i know it will set me off (mornings are my worst time).
Also if i am going away or have something nice planned i find something to worry about

anx xx

[jellybean43]

ANXIOUS you have made me smile hunny!!!

Aww crikey i am sooo like that and MORNINGS are the worst for me too. I have now got something else to worry about.The doc has put me on PROPRANALOL for both my migraines and anxiety. I know it is a beta blocker and i am CONVINCED it was the beta blocker that i was put on about 8 years ago for high blood pressure(that has since returned to normal thankfully) and i had to ask to be taken off it as i felt my heart was slowing down soooo much.I havent actually started to take it yet as doc said to wait til after my hol.
So, i have been going on about this to OH.Anyhow, i have decided that i am going to go back to the doc after my hol and ask him to scroll through my notes and have a look and see if it was that tablet.
I am not going to stress about it. I have written it all down and made the decision to go back and ask him the week after next.Does that sound positive.After all, i am paying his wages arent i????LOL

Do you think you will ever get over HA anxious??Can you still feel your raised gland if you poke about?How long have you suffered it?

Plus, you are soo right. When i have anything nice to look forward to i start to totally stress. I love the lakes and i am soooo looking forward to going but i cant seem to totally chill about it.Nice things equal stress to me and that triggers my anxiety.
We are all sooooo alike!!!!!! xxx

[anxious]

writing things down is positive, because if you are like me you go over and over things in your head (also asking others). When you have written it down and made a decision stick to it but try to put it our of your mind till then. I mean you have written it down so can't forget about it, right.
We all have lumps and bumps (gets worse as you get older ) BUT with HA you go looking for them and find things that most 'normal' people wouldn't notice let alone worry about. If something were odd it would be obvious and usually have other symptoms. We have all read magazines with horror stories in them BUT again most 'normal' people would read it and say "that's terrible" and carry on, but we dwell and decide its going to happen to us.
I don't reckon i'll ever be cured but you learn to live with it. Saying that i'm just about to start taking propranolol again to get me through the next couple of months (got some real stressful things coming up and now know its likely to set me off if i'm not careful). I only take it on 'bad days' not reguarly.

anx xx

[jellybean43]

Thanks Anxious.
Do you find that propranolol work for you? I would love to have something which would just take the "edge" of it all for me!!!
I have it all written down for the doc and now filed away til i get back off my hol xxx