scared to go back to work

[mandie]

Hi

I have been off to work for nearly 2 weeks now due to panic attacks at work.

I am due to go back on monday but i am dreading it.

I no i have to think positive etc but already i am thinking will i have another attack etc.

I dont want to go back yet but i feel like it will be worse if i dont go back now and also im worried that my colleagues think its just an excuse to have time off.

I think sometimes unless you have experienced the panic, people dont really understand what u go through.

I am starting cbt this week but i dont think one session will help before i go back to work.

I have been feeling alot better this week, iv reduced my citalopram becasue i was feeling worse on them and i feel things are on the up again.

Now work is on my mind again and im starting to get anxious.

love mandie x

[doodah]

Aww mandie, sorry to hear you're worrying over going back to work but I guess it's only natural isn't it. I would say that your first CBT session will help a lot - honestly. At least you can talk to your therapist and they can help you to work out ways of dealing with your anxiety and stop you over-worrying this week. Also, I know it's easier said than done, but it really doesn't matter what your colleagues think about you having time off work - have you thought of mentioning it to them? You might be surprised at how many of them actually have or know people who have similar problems. Try ever so hard not to put yourself under more pressure than you need to - ie: wanting to get totally better in one week before going back to work; worrying about what others think. Again - it's easier said than done.

Take care mandie and best of luck with your CBT session.

Wendy xxxx

[Pixel]

Hiya. I was in your situation a few years ago, and i ended up i worked myself up so much that i stayed off work for 6 months then i eventually quit. it was a really good job and i realise now that i should have just gone back to work in the first place. its totally your decision but things do tend to get worse the longer you put them off.
Ive had CBT and even after the first session i felt as though a weight had been lifted because i was actually doing something about my panic attacks.

If you dont feel ready then dont go back just yet and dont worry about what other people think, the chances are they are not thinking all the things you are imagining and youll be surpised how many people who seam so confident actually have panic and anxiety.

[Liverbird67]

hello

I am in a similar situation myself, I have been off work for 10 weeks now fortunately I am on full pay, I feel very self concious about going back to work having a pa in work etc etc, I think I feel worse because I work for the mental health services, having to explain that I've been off with stress etc (mind you I went to see the works doctor last week and the place was packed, lots of people off with the same thing) I think with panic attacks they are a lot more common than you think sometimes I do the relief typing for the AED mental health team assessments and you would be amazed at how many people suffer and from a huge variety of walks of life, all shapes sizes,colours,faiths, etc. In fact they are a bit like the flu everyone can get them, no one is immune. I tried this little exercise last week, I was sitting on the bus, it was packed, I felt absolutely horrid and this little thought popped into my head, if 1 in four of the general population suffer pa at sometime in their life, there was at least thirty people on bus going into town, how many others were feeling like I did. Also when I had to go to Primark with my daughter the place was heaving (felt like the whole of Liverpool was in there) how many other poor blighters were feeling like me. Honest try it, its not a cure but may make you feel a bit more reassured after all 50 odd people will not collapse at the same time on a Saturday in Primark will they?
sorry to ramble on but basically what I am saying is you are not alone, and most people are probably too preoccupied with themselves to be worrying about other people.

Good Luck and lots of love

DebbieXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Blaise]

Mandie,
Im in exactly the same situation as you, I have been off for 3 weeks and have to return on Monday to work and am worried that I will have PA's back at work and that it will wind me up and set it all off again.

I am going to be really honest with my boss and tell him that I may have to take it slow or not be able to participate in some things and give myself a break. We can crack this, but we musnt expect too much from ourselves in the first week back. We need to expect to feel uncomfortable and take each day as it comes.

I also started CBT a few weeks ago and it does help, its not a miracle to start with though so don't worry yourself if you don't have the cure immediately. It will help over the weeks. Ive had a few light bulb moments over the last few weeks!

Keep in touch with me over the next few days and we can help each other out as we are both in the same situation

Love Sam/Blaise xx

[SueBee]

Hi Mandie,

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the moment.

Is your panic related to work or does it just happen there out of the blue?

I've been off work for 7 weeks with work related stress. I quit on monday because I just felt I couldnt go back. What a relief!!! I'm like a different person, no panic, not sheer dread and my personality and enthusiasm have come right back.

I guess what I'm saying is, if it is work related, dont be afraid to take the leap. No job is worth panicking over.

I was in your position about 5 years ago, I was off for 5 weeks with depression (not work this time) I went back and was totally honest with the reason I was off. It amazed me that when I opened up, how many others had been in a similar situation or who knew someone who had. I dont think anyone thought any less of me and I'm positive they wont think any less of you either.

Take care and dont go back til you're ready!

[mandie]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I am looking forward to this cbt so much now.

My employers are doctors so you would think they would understand, but when i was having a bad panic attack at work, all my doctor could do was offer me a biscuit! It was the nurse who was fantastic and calmed me down.

They told me last week to come back to work and they would look after me, but i know them and they just want to make sure i am there to work.

We have a new manager and he has made all my anxiety worse cause i feel he is picking on me. I have mentioned it to them and they said they will have a word with him, but i have mentioned this before and they promised then they would speak with him and the matter just got worse.

I will go back, i live on my own with my young daughter so i need this job. If however on monday i start to feel worse then i will just come home.

love mandie x

[Carla08]

Hi Mandie
I would say go back to work because being stuck at home not working does absolutely nothing for how you feel. I am living proof of this ( I walked out on some really good well paid jobs as I just somehow thought that this would be better for me mentally than dealing with the panic attacks/feelings I had at work- how wrong could I have been!)and this is how my agoraphobia & anxiety became worse. Looking back I know that work did wonders for me in some respects, - the socialising aspect, and doing work that take your mind off your own issues for a while - and not working takes its toll mentally on anyone regardless of whether they suffer with anxiety stress etc or not. If your job is getting you down, could you maybe look for another whilst in your job? Maybe go to college and retrain? I hope your CBT goes well. I start mine soon and really looking forward to it. Also if you feel someone is picking on you at work then that needs to be dealt with seriously by someone in a senior position to your manager. I would say you are working in the best enviroment for them to be helpful & caring towards you, however I do know that gps are not always renowned for their caring attitude too! Speak to the practice nurse there and tell her exactly how you are feeling - you will probably get more help and support off her. Good luck!

[mandie]

Thank you Carla for your reply.

i think i definatley will go back on monday and see how i go

love mandie x

[chalky]

Hi Mandie,

Go back to work with the attitude of just one day at a time.
If the problems persist with your manager,have a chat with your local Citizen's Advice Bureau.
Hope it goes really well for you.
Best wishes,
Chalky