Hi gang.
October of 2007, I returned from an overseas trip. A week later, after an ob/gyn visit and a dental visit, I developed what I thought was a cold.
A week after that, I went to the clinic because I was having trouble swallowing and it felt like I was constantly swallowing "past" something. I also couldn't get a full breath. I could get a DEEP breath, but that little turnover in your chest that happens when you switch from inhaling to exhaling was not there for me. It felt weird. My chest felt tight but not from pressure- more like the lungs were tired and achy and just couldn't keep up.
The clinic told me I had bronchitis and possible IBS or heartburn (which I have had occassionally in normal settings like eating spicy or salty foods, but never chronic). They gave me meds. It got worse and my breathing was worse. I had to sleep sitting up and never on my side. I went online and discovered I have about ten diseases (according to me). I got to the point of lung cancer and embolisms and my family got frustrated and made me go to a real doctor.
The doctor set all my symptoms up for me, tested each one, and diagnosed them all with ease.
Trouble breathing? Not bronchitis but a touch of pneumonia caused by a sinus infection. He took x-rays of my head and chest. X-rays always make me feel better.
Swallowing problems? I have my tonsils! That's right, I'm a cultural artifact. Still and all, this means when I have an immune problem or a gland swelling, my tonsils swell up, too! Also, my glands were kind of drooping down the back of my throat and the throat tissue is so soft and, well, squishy that swelling in that area can make them move a lot when you swallow. He explained the whole process to me and had me look in the mirror and observe my tonsils.
Chest tightness? Well, there is that pneumonia thing. The thing was, I had no congestion in the traditional sense of hacking things up and being all stuffy headed or coughing. My congestion was not incredibly large or liquid, just enough to cause a problem with breathing. It can be very disconcerting to have a pneumonia diagnosis without what we think of as "pneumonia" (ie. hacking, coughing, wheezing). But I saw the x-ray and he explained everything every time.
I had some secondary fears (I figure that's pretty common with health anxiety). I feared DVT from sitting too much while I was sick.
However, after antibiotics, steroids, and allergy meds (which I have to take all the time now to keep those sinuses clear!), I am now able to breathe and eat and function just fine. My lungs are still a little tired and I can't always yawn quite as hard as I want to, but it takes a while to recover from pneumonia.
So, I am a happy ending, I think. I've tried VERY hard to get rid of my health anxiety by reminding myself that no matter how healthy or vigilant I am, I am going to get sick or have something hurt at some point because I'm a human. I also have noticed that I have an obsessive personality. Give me ANYTHING and I'll obsess over it. If you add an anxious personality to that, plus some health problem to worry about, and you've got health anxiety! My point is that it CAN be controlled, but it's not easy.
I recently got a stiff neck (I had whiplash about 5 years ago and sometimes it comes back) and a pressure pain in the back of my head. I, of course, am wondering about brain tumors. Never mind that I'm just starting my menstruation at the onset of the head pain, that I have whiplash, that I'm retaining fluid, or that I sit at a computer all day and have back and shoulder tension. Now, though, at least I can see these other factors. In large part, it was helpful to have my doctor tell me every last thing he thought my symptoms could be from and just wonder at the long litany of diseases from major to minor. I realized that while I trust my instincts and my ability to "hear" my body, I don't have any instinctual ability to diagnose. While my brain might tell me there is something wrong with my stomach or that my head hurts or that a pain I have is different than before and serious, I don't have any instincts that cover diagnosing brain tumors or lung cancer. If I know something is wrong, I can take it to the doctor and he can diagnose it. Even people who are misdiagnosed and "know" something is more wrong with them than a doctor says don't "know" they have a brain tumor, they just know it's more serious than a headache.
We're all so incredibly individual when it comes to our anxieties. What works for me will not work for everyone, but my main point is that there is hope and that there is a unique answer out there for every single person.
I'm grateful to and for this forum for everything. If anyone ever needs just an ear or an arm, I'd be glad to give it.
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