Separation anxiety

[lizzie29]

Does anyone else have separation anxiety? I have for years now, although at times it's better than at other times. I live with my husband, and most of the time it's not too bad, as I know he's only down the road or a couple of miles away.
Before I got married, I couldn't be separated from my parents - as I got older I got better, but still found it hard when they weren't so near. I've just found out that they might be going on holiday abroad soon and I'm so upset and worried. I know I have my husband, but I always think what if something happens to him? My parents won't be here so I'll have noone to help me.
Does anyone understand this? I'd love to find someone willing to chat about their experiences of separation anxiety, whether they are still struggling with it or recovered. Would just be nice to have someone who fully understands and knows what I'm talking about. My friends and family are great and very supportive, but can't truly understand as they haven't experienced it themselves.

[clairev]

Hi Yes I totally understand what you mean about seperation anxiety

You arent alone

I am constantly checking that i have my fiance or my parents nearby if i am on my own, And when they arent with me i am ringing them on there mobiles checking i can contact them if needed.

I Know exactly what its like

email me and we can have a more detailed chat about it

from Claire xx

[Zingara]

Me too!! Mine was especially bad as a child, I was terribly clingy even for a young child, and teachers and other adults would comment on it. When my parents had a night out (doubtless well-deserved) I would be like a cat on hot bricks until they got back. I worried constantly that my mother would die while I was at school, and got into some spectacular panics if she was just a few minutes late picking me up! In adult life the problem has persisted, albeit not so dramatically. Like you, I get anxious when my parents are away on holiday, I always dread them going, but don't want to say anything because I don't want them to feel obliged to stay at home. It is a horrible feeling of constant nagging worry. I worry about their safety and also that I will be in an accident or taken ill and there won't be anyone there to look after me!
My boyfriend goes away for two weeks each summer, and every time for the last three years I have been physically ill with worry while he's been away.... horrible!

[worriedGrace]

I was a very nervous child and very clingy. I dreaded losing my parents and had nightmares about my mother dying. When my parents died I seemed to cope very well to everone's amazement but as more and more of my family have died with only one aunt left I have become anxious and depressed. Although I am married with grown up children and grandchildren I feel like an orphan and that everyone has abandoned me.Without my parents life seems pointless. They died before my grandchildren were born and without their approval everything I do seems pointless. The future belongs to the next generation and I am now one of the oldies who has reproduced and is no longer needed.

[belle]

Hi..
My mother goes on holiday on Monday for 2 weeks and i am already dreading it. I live with my husband and he is off work on holiday for 10 days out of the 2 weeks but still....i hate it when she goes away. My mother is the only person i can go out with, so i know i have 2 weeks of not going anywhere. I talk to my mum at least 4 - 5 times a day, most day and when shes on holiday i speak to her maybe once every 4 days. I don't like that :(
Makes me very sad as my husband doesn't understand and i have no friends to talk to either.

x

[lizzie29]

Well, I'm certainly glad I'm not the only one! I find it just helps knowing that I'm not 'weird' or 'pathetic' or 'need to grow up' or any of the other things that I sometimes feel when I'm anxious or down.
@Bluebottle - you have friends on here! You can always message me if you need to.
Thanks for the replies.

[pete123]

Hi,my name's pete.
This is my first time,it's not a reply to anything but i thought you might like to here about my separation anxiety and hopefully offer me any tips or advice on the subject.
I'm 58 years old and ever since i can remember i've had a problem.I'm told by my mother that when i was 9 years old i had to be sedated when she had to go in hospital for a while,so the writing was on the wall even then and has been ever since.I can remember all the time i was growing up, that when my mum died,that's when i would die because the feeling is so bad.Now, that feeling has changed with my mother and i just know when it's her time to go i'll cope alright.You probably know what's coming next and that is that the anxiety has jumped to the closest person to me which is my wife.
But it's not just about if she dies,there seems to be so many other things that trigger off anxiety feelings which can last for days.For instance,if she looks like she's laughing and joking and generaly having a good time with someone else it makes me think she's happier with them than me and she'll leave me,which i know is crazy because i'm in no dout that she loves me to bits.That's just an example of how irrational my thoughts are and there seems to be so many different subjects that are connected to my separation anxiety.I just need to learn how i could live and manage on my own if anything should happen,but that's not happening as yet.
Although i'm not feeling to bad at the moment i know i could walk into a room in five minuets time and my wife might say something,quite harmless and off i go again.
I should tell you that i had four weeks in a mental home some ten years ago and i've been on lithium since,i'm also taking effexor but i've never regarded myself as being depressed, just really anxious,enough to want to end it all,but i'm still hanging in there after all this time.
If there's anybody out there with anything at all with suggestions or tips,i'll be more than grateful.
Hope to hear from someone.
Pete