Fear of Choking

[stuart39]

Hello there, i'm new on here and came across the site by fluke really. Well ive put up with this fear for a good 25 years now since i was about 11-13 years of age. I cannot pinpoint the time the problems began it sort of crept up on me rather than waking up one particular morning and then having the fear.
anyone out there that can relate to my symptoms who would like to correspond?

i did choke on a fishbone in front of my father when i was about 9 or 10 years of age but i cannot say for sure if that was the start of my anxiety when eating. i think the problem may have developed just before i started
to wear a brace (for about 10 months) due to a tooth growing out at a funny angle. i hated the smooth feel of the top palate part of the brace (plastic) and remember trying wherever possible to avoid eating solids.

I do tend to swallow larger amounts when I am eating with others i think becauase my mind is telling me that if i did choke they would be around to help me. Eating on my own I tend to swallow very small amounts after chewing the food for ages! Its a nightmare.

its wrecked my social and personal life as ive always led a double life making up lame excuses about why i cannot attend certain dinners, weddings, functions etc as sitting down and eating food is all part of those social events. Ive lost and indeed made excuses to fall out with some of my friends and colleagues because of this abnormality.

I can eat but when i know i am going to have to eat in front of or with other people i always go for the easiest to eat/swallow option on the menu. i would love to ram down a steak and chips but its always the spaghetti bolognese or cottage pie with lashings of gravy. I also tend to constantly sip a drink with my meals to aid the swallowing of solids.

i hate swallowing pills too. Even small ones feel like they sometimes stick. Ive even avoided some medication because the tablets were so large and dry (uncoated). After swallowing a pill 9 times out of 10 i can feel it still in my throat. I'm not choking but it just feels stuck in my food pipe and takes a good 5 mins for the lump/discomfort to pass. Some people can swallow pills without a drink - no chance for me!

Ive had a barium swallow and that proved normal (although they had to reduce the consistency of the barium shake as I couldnt gett he thick shake down) so I dont know whether this is all in the mind rather than any physical issue. Can the mind impact that much on bodliy function/motor system?

As a male this may seem an unusual thing for a bloke to suffer from and so because of my avoiding social situations ive not really had any long term relationships because the eating disorder has dictated that I avoid commitment and kept social interraction to a minimum. I do like my own company but after so many years its becoming a real drag and I dont want to take this problem to the grave without having enjoyed life a bit more and overcome my problem.

I would really be interested in hearing from other members who either know about such matters, know of someone else who suffers or they think suffers in silence or indeed are suffering from similar symptoms themselves. I guess it helps to get things out in the open - as you know stuff like this makes a person very secretive and unwilling to talk about it face to face with friends.

During meals, depending on what we are eating it can become obvious quite quickly that my eating isnt normal as I get left behind by others who are wolfing down theirs and I have hardly got started because I chew so much and swallow so little at a time.

I find it hard to believe that some kind of "shrink" will be able to help me.
Are there any books on this subject I wonder?

[Hope 2]

Hi Stuart

I think you have made a good move joining here, I am sure there will be others who can relate to your problems. I imagine posting your story took a lot of courage and I for one think you are very brave. Glad you have found somewhere that you can speak of your issues, this is a great place to do just that without rejection or judgement.

Although I cannot directly relate to your specific problem, I feel I can kinda understand some of how this affects you. Since my early teens, I have found it very difficult to eat in front of others in a social environment, including people I know really well. I was very self concious, eating tiny amounts of the meal even thought I was famished. I like you have made excuses as to why I wouldn't be able to meet for the meal, unless it was family and even then I was anxious. I am fortunate that my social life often revolved around drinking not eating. Then I still adopted a 'mask' and pretended to be something I wasn't, but that is another story lol. That said, it all boils down to anxiety/social inadequacy, and this is where I feel we have a common link as will many others here. I am much less anxious now, although it never affected me to the degree you have been. My main problem is OCD but that's getting better too.

You have good insight and I think you maybe can benefit from others input, especially to feel less isolated with this problem. It can be overcome most definitely, have you ever visited your GP and told them of your probs? This is a good idea as a starting point if you haven't already.

Fear/anxiety can cause all sorts of physical symptoms as you suspect, and as there is nothing physically evident, it's sounds like your problem is psychological in origin. I suspect this is indeed a fairly common problem, men definitely included . I can understand this problem makes you feel socially inept, but I am sure you can overcome this and lead a much more anxiety free life in general. With the right treatment that 'retrains the brain' like CBT for example. I feel this is a curable condition you have. I am sure other NMP members will be able to let you know of much more detailed info on the treatment side than I can. Have a good look around the menu on the left of the screen and I am sure you will come across some invaluable info and advice about this problem.

I hope this is the start of a better time for you, it's had a hold over you for long enough I am sure you will agree!

Keep posting, we r here to help
Best Wishes
Hope xx

Ps there is NO shame whatsoever in having this problem, I used to wash money cos of OCD ok so yr NOT alone xx

[stuart39]

Hi Hope-thanks for responding. Ive been reading some of the older posts and am surprised by just how many other folk out there suffer like me in relative silence and its a nightmare as those who suffer will tell you. Its debilitating in a way that someone with an eye injury or a broken leg can never understand. Thats clearly physical and not at all out of the ordinary to friends and family but what is tantamount to an eating disorder if I can call it that is extremely life limiting. I think I would have done far more dating and probably had been married with a family by now at my age had this affliction not come over me!

Like some other chaps on here like Ben, BC2000 i too get that tired throat feeling after i jhave started eating so for the first few mouthfulls things are ok then as the meal progresses the tighter/more tired my throat feels so I get slower and slower. It must sound crazy to non-sufferers who just put something in their mouth chew and swallow (and enjoy it and dont even think about it!). The other people who have posted before with similar problems didnt seem to mention that physically they have been examined and given the all clear. Is there an underlying anatomical abnormality???

Clearly I am not an isolated case which is what I suspect many sufferers feel they are until they switch onto a forum like this and find they are not alone.

I do not know anything about CBT which I presume is some kind of therapy involving a shrink and a long comfy couch!

If 99% of these swallowing problems are down to anxiety alone my bright idea is to possibly do some research into perhaps a discounted group buy with a CBT provider where each sufferer can go along and have a private session(s) to try and overcome the problem. Can CBT be obntained on the NHS I wonder? That would be even better.

I do spend too much damn time stopping and thinking hard about the timing of my swallow like the others have mentioned on here. Its no longer in my sub-conscious, I am aware I am trying to control the reflex. Its just annoying and I feel for the guiy who is thinking of quitting the job he hates because of this problem. That sounds like me a few years back but at least I am self employed now and so avoid meals out with clients and lunchtime presentations etc. they were a real drag. I still maintain had I not had this problem I could have been pretty successful and climbed the ladder a lot more in my old job-its cost me thousands in lost earnings.

I would love it if a group of us sufferers could chat and once we have all had CBT or whatever meet up and have a nice meal and laugh off our old eating problem!

Why should we suffer whilst everyone else enjoys life and we put up with it in secret?

Would like to hear from anyone else with related problems on this....

Cheers

Stuart

[leisa]

i can so relate 2 u i choked on an orange skin when i was 5 i remember my dads fingers at the back of my throat 2 pull out the orange then from that time on i had a fear of swallowing i chewed food until it was mush,then i must of out grown it,but it has showed its ugly head a few times,1 time was when i was about 14,i lost alot of weight through the anxiety,& i carried a drink around with me where ever i went just in case i choked,ur right it so ruins ur social life i still sruggle now n again & im 37yrs old,i hate being like this but must admit im fighting other anxieties at the moment that bother me more hope u keep ok though,ur not on ur own,take carex leisa