councelling

[june]

Hi,
I have been offered 6 councelling sessions.
It has been suggested that i make a list of what I want from these sessions
I have seen a councellor before and i found that they would - basically sit and wait for me to talk and they would say VERY little.
Now I am asking for your help to make this list.
I do have health anxiety ---
I panic and think I am dying.
They say "well you did not die the last time you panicked, why would you die this time????"
They say "what is the worst thing that can happen when you panic?" Considering my first answer - How can they be so stupid?
How do I explain my fear?
I want to be "normal" again (whatever 'normal' means)
1. I know about deep breathing (that sets off panic)
2. I know about visualisation (confusing)
3. I know about relaxation etc. etc How????? I hear the voice and I panic

I want to know what makes me giddy? - what makes my head hurt? - Why do the palpitations come so suddenly? - why when I am out shopping does the feeling of absolute terror come on me?? I want to know = what I am so afraid of - why am I so afraid.
I am sure many of you understand why I am so up tight about this.
Best wishes
June
Hope you can help

[Stefan P]

Hi June

I went to some CBT sessions and found something similar - the guy would wait for me to say stuff quite a lot, which maybe is the point that I missed, I don't know, but what I actually wanted was for him to say "Tell me about ..X", or "How do you feel about Y", and for me to respond to him, rather than the other way around. I found that all I wanted was for him to say something like, "I bet you feel like <whatever> when you suffer anxiety", so I could say "YES! I DO!" and feel like he understood me. But that didn't happen, so CBT didn't work out for me.

But from your post it seems like you've got a great start to your list already!

I can see why they want you to make a list first, as it must be difficult with a new patient (client?) to know where to start. Perhaps you could start with explaining as far back as you remember when you started to suffer from your attacks, and then go from there? (Just to begin with)

[Emira7]

Hi June

What a good idea, I have just had a letter to say I am at the top of the list for counselling. And i have no idea what to expect. So its useful to see your post, I wonder if that will be the same approach.

Good luck
Emirax

[neptuno]

June,
I would recommend you read Claire Weekes "Self Help for Your Nerves" - you can get it out at the library. You need to understand where all your scary symptoms come from and this book will tell you - no messing. It will also help you put together a list for your CBT sessions.
Be kind to yourself

[june]

Stefan P Yes I think it would be better if they also asked some questions just to see which sorts of panic/anxiety we have. Often when they do talk you can almost tell which book they got their info from.
Emira 7 i hope you have a great councellor and that you do get the answers you need. (then you can share some good ideas with us (ha ha))
neptunoI have got Claire Weekes book and although I have found her VERY helpful (and your idea is useful) it is not quite the same as hearing a person say the answer you are hoping for. You can't really beat interaction, I can read and give other people the courage but I don't seem to beleive it myself (does that make sense).
Thank you all and
Best wishes
June

[eternally optimistic]

Hi June and morning

I was offered and accepted a six week course earlier in the year.

I found it really beneficial, it was like the counsellor was inside my head -
she was me, I think - if that makes sense.

My experience was totally positive. I talked the whole time, not always covering what I intended to cover but rambled onto other things that came to light.

I too have got one of the Claire Weeks books too, it all makes sense, the hard thing is putting into practice.

Whilst day to day I am fine, I do DEFINITELY gain confidence from coming onto this website, so that should help too, I suppose.

I think the list idea is good, its like when you go to the Doctors you sometimes forget what you really wanted to talk about.

I think you should give it a go, and if its not for you then you can pack it in.

Good luck June

[Catwoman]

I am on a list to have counselling and I am a bit worried. Its funny as I do communications as a job, and am also a public speaker but never know what to say when doctors talk to me about my anxiety or depression.
I usually come up with silly things. Like they ask me why am I depressed and I have to say I don't know why, maybe its hormonal / genetic? Then I always make a silly joke that I am not mad as I don't think I am Napoleon! I don't know why I say that!
They always sit quietly and sort of expect me to speak, but this is the one occassion when I do not know what to say, I want THEM to say something to me!
It can be very difficult! I am very worried about these counselling sessions, especially as I hope they don't impinge on my work, as I am not telling work about them. My work would not understand. So as I work full time I would have to somehow hide them.
It's not made easy for us eh?

[june]

Just a quick thank you for now.
Like you I tend to ramble - I honestly do not know how the attacks started or why.
yet that seems to be their only question.
If we knew that we would be half way to our own cure (ha ha)
Best wishes
june

[Marginalia]

I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment and it is one of the most frustrating things not knowing what is causing the anxiety. I have always been prone to psychosomatic symptoms (i.e. psychologically-caused bodily sensations) which at the time I have not known where they came from (hence the mind's tendency to look for explanations ends up at the 'cancer' 'heart disease' 'Alzheimers' type of answers.

Often it's only been years later I've been able to make an intelligent guess at the 'real' cause. I seem to be so bad at listening to my mind's distress that the only way it has to communicate with me is to make parts of my body feel odd.

For example, I got excma when I was 16, then I suffered chest pains, breathlessness and fatigue when I was 18, and for a year when I was 21/22 I suffered free-floating anxiety, panic attacks and extreme insomnia. As it happens, those time periods corresponded with my 'O' levels, my 'A' levels and my final year at university. I was not aware of any worries or stress about my academic performance, but I suspect it was not a coincidence.

Now I'm working (weekdays) I have noticed that I frequently get insomnia on a Sunday night, and upset stomach on a Friday night. I used to get an upset stomach every Friday fortnightly when I used to edit a newsletter on Friday afternoons. So it seems that, for me, upset stomach tends to happen *after* a time of tension, whereas insomnia happens in anticipation. So therefore I deduce that I am a bit stressed at work.

What I am doing now with my counsellor is (trying to) ignoring the exact way the symptoms manifest, and to examine any aspect of my life, sifting through for the things which are possible sources of worry. This is taking some time. But how I work together with my counsellor is that I write down things which I think are worrying me each week, and when I run off the list with her, she picks out the ones which she thinks might be the significant ones, and I give her feedback (I weigh up and think if I agree with her assessment) - or sometimes I pick them out and she says if she agrees with me or not.

Gradually we're working through the main things which cause me stress. As a result I have now (with her support and encouragement) been able to get rid of two of the things which were getting to me the most (though it took me some time to realise my own ways of dealing with them weren't effectual and to take a more drastic solution). And onwards we go, looking at what my stress triggers are and where my coping mechanisms need work.

[june]

Hi Marginalia,
I am printing off your letter (i hope you don't mind) it is easier to read than on screen, and there is plenty to 'digest' in there.
Best wishes
June