Help!

[mustard_123]

I badly need some advice and stuff. i don't know what to do. I have no job, hardly any friends and i have an obsession that has totally taken over to the point where i can't focus on anything else or function. I won't go into details about the obsession i've posted about it before. all that i need to say is that i've had the obsession for over 3 years and its just as strong now as it was at the start. Apart from the obsession i have little else in my life atm and i have put all my focus and energy into the obession [its with a guy i know on the net] I know i could start taking steps to change, cut back my net time, try to focus on other things like joining clubs to meet new friends or find a job or attend college. But i just have no idea where to begin, i've been hiding away in my room so long i don't know where to begin and i am finding it hard to get motivated to do anything other than focus on the net and this guy. its almost like i don't think there is any point trying. its making me really unhappy and i'm tired of it now its gone on long enough but its an addiction like any other. it becomes destructive and makes you unhappy but yet you can't live without it.

i just feel really empty and like there's no purpose to life anymore. sometimes i seriously think of ending it all. i've tried to sleep tonight but i keep waking up startled like i've had a bad dream and feeling anxious. i want to cry cos i find that soothing for a while but i can't even cry anymore. i tend to sit up all night watching dvds and then sleep all day and i find it an effort to get myself washed and dressed so i don't even bother at times

what can i do? i know there's stuff i could do to start improving things but its so hard to get focused and motivated. i'm scared too. i could have gone to a job club for the unemployed yesturday morning. it runs every week and i keep intending to go. yesturday i got up early to go and then i started messing about putting it off until it was too late to go its this obsession that is the biggest problem. its there 24/7, its completely taken over. even when i try to go out and do stuff and meet people its still there eating away at me. i've tried to seek help but the nhs keep fobbing me off. i had counselling which hasn't helped in the longrun. i honestly don't know what to do about the obsession or about anything else. i know that i'm young and i have many years ahead of me and i can't live them all like this. this has gone on for 8 years now since i left school. i'm deeply unhappy and lonely and anxious. its a nightmare

[sheba2]

Hi Mustard

I haven't seen any of your other posts so I don't know any details of your obsession. But maybe that isn't important. When something is taking over our lifes in such a negative way it calls for huge amounts of effort and will power to change things. Whether it be an addiction to drugs, alcohol, food or the internet etc we have to do things to change our behaviour. This is extremely difficult but can be done. For some people it helps to gradually cut down on there use of whatever for others it is necessary to cut it out completely from day one. Both ways are successful for people and you may neeed to try both to see which is best for you. The other thing is to put something in its place. You need to plan in advance what you are going to do with your time. Try and think of things that you like doing but if that fails then going for a simple walk instead of logging on would work. At the end of the day you just need to make yourself do something else. You need to give your brain something else to think about. All this is probably very obvious to you and I hope you don't think I'm not appreciating the difficulties of actually doing this but sometimes we have to be a bit firm with ourselves and just say no to those things that we know aren't doing us any good. I hope it helps and that you get some peace from your problem.