Advice Please... Felling Rather Down :(

[TidusRawlings]

Hello All,

Sorry To Bother Everyone With This But I Wanna Get It Off My Chest...

I Split Up With My Ex About A year Ago, We where together for 4 years and we have a 18month old son together. I Have Always In The Back Of My Head Thought That We Would Get Back Together But She Stopped Talking To Me A Week Ago Because She Said She Was Busy. I Spoke To Her Yesterday And To My Horror She Said She Was With A New Guy. My heart Sank. She Rang Me Up Telling Me How He Had A Good Job A Nice Car And How Good He Was With OUR Son. She Is Even Thinking Of Moving Him Into Our Old House. I Knew This Was Going To Happen One Day And Thought I Was Prepared But I Was Wrong It Hurts So Bad I Dont Wanna Sound Strange But I Can Actually Feel My Heart Hurting. I Am At A Point Now When I Dont Know What To Do. I Went Out Today And Got Totally Drunk I Was Fast Asleep By 3PM I Only Just Woke Up. I Had A Plan Of Going To College And Even The Anxiety Was Getting Better But Now I Am Worried It Will All Go Wrong. Why Cant I Just Get Over Her I Am SO SILLY. And The Other Thing That Hurts Is That I Dont Wanna Loose My Son I Love Him To Bits. I Really Dont Know What To Do Am So Down I Wish I Did Not Love Her But I Do.

Sorry For The Rant Everyone......

[Worried worrier!]

I can kinda understand what you are going through. It isn't nice splitting up with anyone you love so much and you certainly don't need to hear how 'great' her new partner is. It is like rubbing salt in the wounds.
Me and my partner have had many difficulties and when we seperated for a while i felt physically sick and i too had those chest pains as though my heart was hurting.
It's awful when there are children involved too.....i can't imagine how upset and angry you must be about it all. Just remember that YOU are his Dad and that will NEVER be taken away from you. Things will be tough for a while, but you will heal in time, and i'm hoping you'll be ok.

[jill]

Hi hun

I am soo sorry to hear about your break up hun, this must be soo hard for you

**Why Cant I Just Get Over Her I Am SO SILLY.**

Ohh hun, you ARE NOT silly at all, you are expecting far to much of yourself at this early stange. You loved this person, your feelings cannot be expected to swich off, this is going to take time hun You say you new this was going to happen, hun, we may know something will happen, but when it does, it does not hurt any less. While you ex parter was not with anyone, you had hopes hun, these hopes of getting back together,keeps you going, we feel we know they will move on, but in the back off our minds we hope we will get back together. Your ex is with someone else now, this is the iceing on the cake, so to speak, the prof, that your relationship is over for good, AND it does hurt hun this is only natral hun, ANYONE, even people who have not suffered pa's, anxiety would feel the same

I do know what you mean when you say you can feel your heart hurting I have felt this too hun at a time in my life, but you know, that with time this hurt will heal hun.

I think you allready know what I am going to say about drinking hun, this is nooo way to go, drinking is only going to make you feel worse.

Your ex partners words off how her new partner has car, money, good job and is good with your son, ohh hun does your ex, no how you are hurting? Can you talk to your ex, I know how its going to be dame hard, tell her your hurting and finding it hard, when she talks this way, tell her your happy for for her, from what I know about myself, I may hurt, BUT, I cared sooo much I was even willing to let my parter move on, if that was what he wanted, be happy for him, mmmm, BUT it still hurt.

You have a priceless thing in your life now, YOUR son, I know your hurting but focus all your energies on your son, YOUR HIS Dad, as it has allready been said, this will never change.

You say you don't want to loose your son, what makes you think you will loose him hun? ask to take your son for the day, show your son you are just as much apart of his life as anyone else.

**The Anxiety Was Getting Better But Now I Am Worried It Will All Go Wrong. **

Please, please hun, you have shown yourself that anxiety can get better at this present moment in time, you have what I would call, NATRAL emotions, these feelings you are feeling are ALL normal, nothing to do with anxiety, please, allow these feelings hun, eccpet these feelings, BUT DON'T expect to feel like this forever.

When I had relationship problems I was tooo scared to drink, I new for me, high stress levels, drinking is a bad mix for me. This site has been a god send to me, I have been panic, high anxiety free for along time, so when having this relatioship problem I new how I should handle it, did not get scott free away form anx symptoms, BUT HAY, they NEVER, took over, I was in control.

The hardest thing to do when you love someone, when you know that your relationship will not work, is to let go, to switch your thoughts and say to yourself, yes, I do love them, but they do not love me, I want them to be happy, even if that happiness, is not with me.

Right now, all I can say is what I did, focus on my kids and myself, what I could do for them AND myself, how I could make MY life better and my kids, without my partner being in my life.

Allthough my situation was different to yours, my partner said he did not want to be with me and the kids, he turned my life unside down, the hurt and the heartbreak was still the same. (we did sort things, it took along time, we are still together, will not go into that)


Please, please hun focus all your energies on what to do next, focus on your son, focus on what YOU can do to get a better yourlife. You are going to college to learn something, keep doing this hun, one day, YOU WILL have that car, that job and as for being good with your son, YOU have this anyway, but I feel you need to show yourself this, see him more, do all you can with him.

You are a good person hun, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, YOU CAN get through this, I promise the hurt will stop, but hun, it will take time


You take care, keep posting and venting if it helps hun, the road may get tough but believe in yourself, believe that in time the hurt and anger will get less, see yourself with a better life and your son as part of your life, if you believe, you mind will find ways to do it.



LOVE JILLXXX

[TidusRawlings]

Thanks For The Kind Reply's

I Woke Up This Morning Feeling A Little Better. Before I Went Bed I Had A Little Cry Lol. I Spent Most Of The Day Thinkin What To Do With Myself Now. I Will Hopefully Be Seeing My Son Tomorrow Am Worried I Will Get In An Arguement With My Ex Though. I Suppose I Just Gotta Keep My Cool For My Son. I Must Admit Though I Really Would Like To Have It Out With Her. It Frustrates Me So Much.

[milly jones]

hi hun

u keep posting and gain strength from nmp

there will always be sosmeone here to help

pls remember that he will always be ur son forever

ive never had the experience that ur in, but i do feel for u hunny

take care milly xx