hi there..

you are the only ones I can mention this to as i'm worried for the consequences. I have written a few times that i have that word suicide always in my thoughts and i know this is quite common. But I am continually questioning myself, what if i want to do it and i'm just not admitting it to myself. I know this sounds so daft, but it is driving me nuts. I've written it all down and my answer has always been no i dont want to. I'm just afraid i will want to. I even went so far as to hold a knife to my wrist to prove to myself i wasn't going to or dont want to do it!! is this the final straw? do you think i've gone mad!? I have been doing so well too!! i'm worried if i tell anyone i know that they will take me straight to the hospital!

please help,
Lisa
xxx