feel mad

[kellyw]

does anyone ever feel like they are just going totally mad!!
today i feel like i cant think straight, jumbled thoughts, feel scared of nothing in particular, feel slightly off balance, like im drunk, feel really disconnected from everything, feel like my memory has holes in it. feel like when i talk i dont make sense and keep losing the thread of what im saying, feel a bit mixed up mentally.
just wondered if anyone else feels this way or am i going mad!!??
take good care
kelly xx

[sarah peacock]

Your not going mad. Believe me, i have felt like that alot. I get really depersonalised and can't concantrate on anything. I will be half way through a conversation and forget what i'm talkin about. I get jumpy and on edge for no particular reason.etc... Try to remember it's just your anxiety. x

[kellyw]

thanks sarah, its so scarey i feel really isolated in my own head with all these mad stupid thoughts, i feel sure people must notice and thing im totally nuts. i wish it would just stop.
xx

[sarah peacock]

No worries. The thing i've noticed over the yrs is that no matter how bad i feel or how strange i think i'm acting, nobody actually notices.

[polly123]

Hiya Kelly,
No hun your certainly not going mad i thinks its down to the problems we have with anxiety, i bet over half the people on this site understand how you feel me included, so does that mean we are all mad???? i dont think so lol, when i feel this way i try and occupy myself with something like reading a good book or doing some baking i often find this helps me
all the best POLLY

[jenfromdenver]

i feel like that basically every day well, most days. i dont have a cure for it tho, i just try to maintain and hope tomorrow will be easier. hang in there, things will get better!

[kellyw]

thanks so much everyone,
it is the most horrible feeling isnt it. i feel like i am on the verge of doing or saying something really insane!!
its like someone has poured glue in my head.
im sorry you all feel like that too but im glad im not the only person.
take good care
kelly xxx

[kellyw]

polly, i would like to bake or something but i find when i feel like this even the most simple instructions are hard to follow, my brain just doesnt take in what is written on the page and i find it really difficult.
xxx

[Tweek]

I can be in the middle of a conversation and then I suddenly realise I cannot understand a word this person is saying to me! lol It's like Charlie Browns teacher! Wahwahawahwawhawhawhahwahwahwahwah.... lol

And if they carrry on talking when I feel like that I have to tell them to shut up or just stop talking and they can't see anything wrong with me so they think I'm being rude, but in reality every word sends me closer to a full blown panic attack. I start thinking they're seeing weakness and going for the kill and I can start to get angry at them for continuing to talk at me.

When I'm "normal" I see this is obviously not their fault, but in that state of mind and it just hiuts you out of the blue too, it's perfectly rational to tel someone to stop talking and think they're attacking you by speaking.

Purely fight or flight response taking on strange symptoms.

I don't tell people this as they'll think I'm a fruitcake. Sometimes I think about hubble photos and how small and pointless it all is... humanity... then once I stop panicking (because that's what that thinking is part of) I feel OK again. Content to be a dot on a rock lol

I'm just trying to say I understand completely and you aren't going nuts. I've seriously thought I was losing it a few times but I'm fine now apart from panicking for no reason at all and out of the blue. Just got to learn to deal with it and it'll fade away eventually.

[kellyw]

hey tweek, thanks so much. im feeling the same again today. my best friend is getting married tomorrow nad i have a whole day helping set up the marquee etc. im freaking out a bit cause i just feel like i cant follow the simplest instruction. if anyone asks me a direct question i feel instantly panic stricken and my mind goes blank. my husband just asked me what we are doing with the kids this afternoon and i couldnt even really understand what he was on about. im so worried he thinks im losing it.
my brain just feels so muddled its really horrible.
im also looking at things in a really negative way. questioning my marriage, which i know is rock solid, my relationship with my kids, which is also wonderful. i feel tearful and out of control. i worry all the time that they are secretly thinking im going mad.
what a state to get into.
the thing that is keeping me going is knowing that i have the presence of mind to realise that this is only going on in my head, if that makes sense??!!
take good care
kelly xxx