Hi everyone,
I'm new to the site and have been reading through some of the posts, everyone seems really nice so i thought i would share my problem with you lot!
Okay, i have been suffering from GAD for about a month now, it started with panic attacks most nights which I have overcome now (nearly!) i have been to the doctors and he has given me some beta-blockers which are good for the physical symptoms but i still cant get the horrible thoughs out of my head!! i told the doctor this and he perscribed me anti-depressants (which he did not tell me were anti-depressants at the time, i only found out after reading the leaflet that came with them) I have not taken them because im too scared of the whole 'anti-depressant' stigma, i also feel like i want to get better naturally instead of chemically.
Anyway the thoughts im having are terifying and they only come into my head when i start to feel 'weird', i start to think that im going mad, and that im going to turn into a physcho and kill myself or my boyfriend... argh!! i know it sounds horrible, but it absolutely terrifies me becuase the truth is im so scared of dying, and there is no way on this earth i would actually kill myself or anybody else so why do these horrible thoughts come into my head? when it happens i think 'oh no i cant think that' and i try to blank it out but then thoughs of knives and blood and I see images of myself turning into some mental killer! I actually feel s*** scared whilst writing this and I hope people dont think that I am actually crazy!
Im also scared becuase i dont know where this anxiety has come from, from reading other posts, most people seem to have had a bad childhood or stressfull job/family life but i dont actually have any worries, i'm 22, live with my parents, have a job (but im off sick at the mo) and i have a great loving understanding boyfriend and lots of friends.... so what the hell is wrong with me?!!
Any advice or reassurance would be greatly appreciated