Well it's been awhile since i last wrote in & beleive it or not things were starting to balance out, Lol. Not for long ! Well i went to the doctor again & he didn't really listen to anythink i had to say regarding my Diazepam, so at the moment im still on 30mg a day, also he couldn't understand why i wont go on prozack, i want to be happy through normality not more pills. Anyway i also bumped in my partner & child again last week & after some shouting by me, she decided to sit down & listen to me. I told her how she cant just keep going with my son & leaving & not answering the phone to me just because she has the hump with me, we have a child & he is taking all this on board. I explain as much as i can everythink we do around him affect's him. & what is going on around him im not happy with. So after an hour or so in a public slide place with us drinking tea & talking & my son playing she says she does want to be with me & we get ready to go back to mine. So all in all things are good, im happy, she's happy & most of all my son is happy, we come back to mine for 3 days there is no shouting we all have fun go out, watch films & generally live like a family again. The only thing she wont answer her phone to her mum ? Anyway after 3 great days she say's she has to go clean the cafe she works for, all ok i say, why woudn't it be ? My son is left with me while she goes, so i start dinner, she ring's within half hr, All ok she says, & she will be back soon. I tell her dinner is on, roast dinner, cool she say's. I play with my son while dinner is cooking & she rings again to say her mum is on the phone or somethink & she is gonna turn her phone off & be back soon. Ok i say & carry on, an hour an a half goes by, she should be back im thinking ? I try to phone it's off ! Two hours pass, dinner is done, Still nothing from her, i try her mum's phone & yes she has bolted back there, somethink about she has had second thought's. Im shocked & heart broken again, smile for my son i think & put dinner out, next minute the police are at the door, regarding my son, i let them in straight away & explain that she has done this for four years to me & my boy, they ask me & my son a few questions, ask him where he wonts to be he says with me bless him, & they go leaving him with me telling me if she rings or comes round they will arrest her, im shocked. I put a smile on for my son, he is only four himself, also i explain as best i can he seem's happy so we eat dinner then shortly after go to bed. Next day is so nice & hot so i cover him in sun cream & we head down the beach for the day, we have a great time, wading in the sea, eating ice creams, all is good. Then we leave to come home, get in just after four, ( Talk about all the four's ) As we have been there since eleven, so once in doors i have a coffee & take my tablets. All going good, my boy ask's me to cut the grass in the garden so we can play football so up i get saying i will get that done then it's dinner & a bath then bed at nine. So were in the garden having more fun, how life can change with a smile. The phone rings, i answer it & there is a bailiff telling me he is at my door asking me to open up, i open the door to hear that my partner has been to court that day, told the judge i have stolen my son, also said im a heroin addict & said i would slit my boys throat & run away to london with him, im shocked the bailiff is an ex police officer & says he can see im clean free off drugs & my son is happy but the order says he has to be back with his mum by six, its five thirty now. Im fuming i cannot believe she is doing this, i ring her phone only to be answered by her mum, my boy is crying he wonts to stay here & to be honest it's all getting stupid now. Anyway her mum picks him up at six, i ask when i can see him & she says to take my ex to court ! Damn, not what i want or need for my son. So now its a court case that i can see getting ugly, its not the lies she has told im worried about, it's that a judge will say you both sound mad & put my boy in care, but i cant sit aside & not try to sort this out, i do have a bad background yes, but i have been clean ten years now & not been in trouble with the police either in that time. So now im between being depressed & thinking of ways to get my boy. In truth all i wont is my partner here & my child here, but i know it's not gonna happen & to be honest i think things have gone way to far now. So im feeling really low at the moment & would welcome any advice on this subject.
Hope everybody else is doing as best thay can,
Welsh................
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