Feel so lost

[nikita]

I have been diagnosed a few weeks ago as suffering from severe anxiety and was prescribed propanal (not sure of spelling) just 10mg, 3 times a day which I still havnt started taking as im scared of side effects and addiction. I recently moved from east to west Ireland to a small village where my mum lives, from a city. I moved to give my kids a better quality of life and they are having that. Where we lived before was crazy, a huge housing estate with lots of problems with drugs,violence, etc. I was living beside my six sisters and Dad and nephews/neices etc so I miss them all terribly. I also worked in an association for 10yrs where I was one of the managers and it was a job i loved, with good money. So I miss the job and my colleagues a lot. I had a busy but very stressful life. Here, I have started a new job but it is the type of job anyone could do and I feel so "not needed" there. I also was in a long distance relationship for the last 2 years which ended almost 2 mths ago. I am here 11mths now. Also a friend of mine who also lived here has moved abroad and now I have nobody to go out for a drink with or go shopping with, just hang out with. I feel extremely lonely. I have learnt to do a lot of new things since I moved, like drive, horseride, swim, and attend gym but I just have this horrible sense of loss, unhappiness, inside me. I have met a man recently, who was just a friend/neighbour before, who has been so so good to me. He wants more, so do I, but im afraid of it not working out. I am not sleeping at all, I also have stopped taking wine at night which used to help me sleep but then i was becoming dependent on it so have had to stop that. I have accomplished so much and should be happy, but I am so anxious all the time; about my health, my kids, money (things are a lot tighter than when i lived in the city) yet I know this move is the best thing for the kids. I miss my ex, but now it was the right thing to end things as he just wasnt being fair (e.g) i travelled to see him all the time, he didnt come here) and i miss my friend who has moved. If you got this far have a hug from me

[milly jones]

aww nikki hunny

this anx/dep beast is awful

it doesnt seem to matter how much money/friends/family/ etc u have it can hit any of us

please take heart that things will become better hunny.

uve tried to reduce stressors in ur life and uv made lots of adjustments. it will take time for these to settle and have effect on ur life.

u will make more friends, it will become less anxious hunny

take care

milly xx

[Bill]

You say you recently moved. It takes time to adjust and make new friends especially when we feel alone and insecure when everything around us has changed and everyone we felt closest to are no longer around.

I just have this horrible sense of loss, unhappiness, inside me. I have met a man recently, who was just a friend/neighbour before, who has been so so good to me. He wants more, so do I, but im afraid of it not working out. I am not sleeping at all

I would guess that because of how you're now feeling, you are afraid of losing his friendship and support if you both try to push the boundaries and so fear feeling more loss and being left feeling even more alone.

Try not to rush things and try not to worry about the future. Take each day at a time and do as you feel comfortable with. Reach out and make as many friends as possible so you feel more secure with less to lose.

Look around for a job that will give you greater satisfaction but don't rush into it. Just keep an eye out in the papers etc for anything that one day may take your fancy.

You're feeling very stressed because of all your worries, fears and insecurities. Try to find things to relax you, to look forward to and friends to spend more time with so you have less time to think.

Things will work themselves out if you allow them to by just thinking about today and letting tomorrow sort itself. Think about what you can do "today" to make yourself feel happier for "tomorrow" and everything will work out OK.

[Alisonj]

I agree with the others. You are going through alot and it is completely normal to feel more pressure and stress right now. Things will settle down as will your nerves. I wouldnt worry about addiction with the medication. It is not known to be addictive. This forum is a wonderful place to be and will help you sort things out! One step at a time, things will fall into place!

[Amy2Crazy]

Nikki,
I just wanted to send you some *hugssss* and tell you I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is when I feel that I have to do "the right thing" (ie leaving everything for the sake of our kids) when it isn't what I WANT to do. I just try to remember that everything changes, and that tomorrow could be the most wonderful day I've ever had.

Hope this helps,
Always,
Amy