I was reading this guys story last night and it started out describing visits to the doctor over a year or so, and him being told there was nothing wrong with him, and you guessed it, less than 6 months later he was under the knife, in chemo, radio blah blah blah.
So to introduce myself, I'll start by saying I'm scared beyond the point of not being able to enjoy life.
I've had blood in my mouth for two years now (not coughing), and a sore throat. About a year ago I went for every test you can possibly imagine apart from stomach, but I don't feel sick so... I had 3 chest X rays, CT scan, ultra sound on my neck, a bronchoscopy, and blood tests for everything you can imagine. They found nothing.
Over the last few weeks or so my throat has become more sore. There's this weird feeling in my throat when I turn my head and look up sometimes. It's like there's something there. It's freaking me out. I can't remember the last time I felt properly hungry, but I eat three times a day so why would I. Or did I actually feel hungry before properly and now I don't. I dunno. I seem to be colder than everyone else in the office. Is that my immune system? I can't feel any lumps in my neck other than the pea sized ones that I'm sure have always been there.... or have they, I dunno.
I don't feel unwell. My voice has started becoming hoarse over the last 4 days. I don't use my voice that much though. I'm a programmer and don't say a lot to people. I live alone. This thing in my neck, if there is a thing, I can definitely feels something sensitive that ISN'T normal, is really freaking me out. I had all these tests done a year ago. I'd have to go and have the same thing done all over again and the NHS is just so rubbish. Time consuming, inefficient etc.. I dunno whether or not I'd just like to wait untill something that's actually preventing me from living my day to day life happens. But then what if it's too late. Even if it's not too late do I really wanna go through all that illness anyway???
I gave up smoking weed like a month ago. And I don't drink anymore either. I used to drink a couple of cans a day. About a year ago I used to take insane amounts of nasal drugs. C, K, MDMA etc. I may have damaged the passages somehow, but why are the symptoms getting worse a year after I stopped all that. Doctor's just dismiss it with past excessive use, and the fact that I'm only 30.
I'm not convinced.
I've been reading some of the blogs on this site, and the only thing that goes through my head is that the authors could all actually have sinister illnesses, and be pre diagnosis. How does anyone know??
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aboard and lovely to see you here.
