Feel so boring

[thevoicewithinme]

Ok guess it's my turn today to have a moan up (or thats what I feel that I am doing) but lately I am beginning to feel more and more boring, I keep thinking what do I have to offer in a conversation?? Absolutely nothing!!

I spend my days doing housework, looking after my kids, and playing games on the computer. I dislike television (apart from the odd and I mean very odd programme), I can't go out so I don't work and I don't have any friends apart from people here on nomorepanic!

My mum suggested I take up embroidery or knitting!! But...that's not me...I get bored easily so really don't have the patience for that!

The love of my life apart from my family, is motorbikes...but, because I am agoraphobic, I can't even do that anymore. My boyfriend keeps on at me to go out on the fireblade, but I can't get him to understand that I can just about manage to drive a car at the moment, let alone ride a bike, which takes a hell of a lot more concentration that driving a car and of course balance too...something which, when I start to panic, is the first thing to go!

I guess, what I am trying to say (or moan about) is that I am fed up! Fed up of being me...a boring agoraphobic who has nothing to look forward to..and I really do feel lately that I wish I didn't have to get out of bed, because each day is the same and everyday I cry and cry and then have to put a brave face on in front of my family.

I hate being me, I feel almost as if I have had enough.

Kaz

[Nechtan]

Hi Kaz,

As a fellow agrophobic i can relate to what you are saying. Like yourself my options are limited to the computer, books and the like. I've even found my enjoyment of music has suffered too.

There are so many places i want to go and i think being stuck in you want to go there all the more. So many small things too I miss like going to a cafe and people watching or just going for a walk somewhere nice.

Try not to let it get you down. You may feel you have little to offer in a conversation but I'll bet that is not the case. I know, and have known, plenty of people with full active lives who can bore the pants off the most patient of people. You can still be as interesting as the next person regardless of your currrent environment.

I wish you all the best and hope that sometime in the future this is all in the past when you are back on your bike again enjoying life.

Nechtan

[Zingara]

Hey,it's my turn to have a moan... it's always my turn!!
Seriously, though, I don't have a lot to say except that I really empathise with you. I don't have any answers, just wanted to say you're not alone.
Nechtan's right as well, the most boring people are those who are full of themselves! xx

[dawny]

Kaz

Firstly, Dont Be So Hard On Yourself Xxxxx

And Secondly Your Not Boring Xxxxx

Kaz, Im An Agrophobic As Well So I Know How Hard It Is Hun, So Dont Rush Yourself, Small Steps Will Get You Back Into The Outside World And When You Are Ready Your Be Back On Your Bike.......

Love And Cuddles Dawny Xxxxx

[thevoicewithinme]

Thanks everyone, and I am sorry for moaning yesterday, but I was just sooooo frustrated with everything.

When my boyfriend phones me during the day, all I ever do is ask him how is morning at work has been...or I tell him I have done this and that. (washing, ironing, hoovering).

As well as suffering with Agoraphobia...I also feel so very brain dead.

Kaz

[pooh]

Hi KAz

maybe an alternative way off looking at your situation is this...
your mind is telling you you are bored, you feel fed up ( not anxious or pas) this is the perfect time to start to push yourself forward a little. Sometimes what we feel tells us what we need a longtime before we recognise it. Don't miss your natural prompts. Your brain is screaming get me out of hear, entertain me do something different. how are you gonna respond Kaz?

Thinking of you

Pooh xx

[purplehaze]

Hi

I am sure so many could have wrote your post and so many can relate to the way you are feeling because life does seem to go more slowly when our routine is the same everyday. With agoraphobia we all become prisoners; be that in our house or the limited distence we can go.
There were so many days that I felt the same and could find no reason to get out of bed and the nearest I got to the outside world was looking out my window, watching everyone else go about with not a care in the world. But the truth is everyone has stress and we have no idea what is going on inside their heads.

You mention you can get out by car, even if that does take a great deal of effort and I would love to take the fireblade out:-) But true, if the balance goes its nearly as bad as having a volvo driver in front of you.

I would like to suggest you see if there are any groups near you. This maybe support groups or even taking up a new hobbie. Many of the local community centres or collages run 12 week courses. In the beginning its not so much what your doing but actually doing it that matters. Like you I found I did not have much to talk about because I was not doing anything. Yet the more we worry about what to say the more difficult it becomes and there is no hard and fast rule of what to talk about.
Just coming on this site gives you something to talk about...EG "so how was your day" "Oh good I was on this site I am a member of and was able to give some support and advice to some people" This leads to you mentioning the site and all that it involves. or "I was doing the housework and I wish the kids would pick their stuff up after them" How many people can relate to that...TONS OF PEOPLE lol

I always find a great opener for a conversation is to ask "so how do you spend your spare time"?

So its not that your a boring person because you are looking after the kids, the house etc....Its more just a self-esteem issue and that is something that can be improved on...

Just take the small steps and see if there is anything that appeals to you as in classes or support groups.

Hope your feeling just a little better

kev xx

[The Fool]

i do it to!! im like homeschoold, my main interest is fashion and when i talk about that no one gets what im going on about, i have 0 hobbies im a very boring person which is why i ten to just rammble on and on about nothing

[thevoicewithinme]

Thank you yet again for your replies.

Pooh...I think you are right..yes I still do get anxious, but more often that not now I am bored and I want to get out and be doing stuff...but my confidence has been knocked big time by the panic etc and there is always that 'what if??'

Purplehaze...thank you sooo much for your advice...and it so made a lot of sense to me. At the moment I know I cannot get out to any local classes etc...but hopefully in time I shall do. Oh, and sorry I couldn't help but smile when you said 'when the balance goes, its nearly as bad a a volvo driver in front of you' Do I take it from that remark that you are/was a biker? Because only a biker would truly understand that one!

I am feeling a bit happier today...yes I have done all the usual stuff, washing, hoovering ironing putting clothes away....but ....I have then sat back..looked around my house and thought just how much I love my home and the things I do make it just that.... a home that we all love.

Kaz