Hi all,

After a good run I feel like I've taken a huge step backwards and can't understand why. I'm not sure if it's the anti depressant that I'm on. I've been on Cipralex for 4 weeks at 5mg and 2 weeks at 10mg. After a panic attack out of no where on Sunday I've felt scared ever since. I feel too scared to do anything but really jittery and nervous just sitting here. I took 2mg of valium last night which made me feel like I've stepped backwards, I think I'm going to have to take some today as well. My throat symptom seems to have changed from me endlessly swallowing and working my tongue at the back of it, to being quite still and working relatively normal but just feeling really nervy in it.

I just can't believe I've obsessed for 5 months over this just because of a single panic attack. I've never suffered anything of this intensity before in my 31 years on this planet and I feel scared that I'm going to end up sectioned. I feel like an arachnophobe sitting in front of a tank with 1000 huge spiders in it with the door being held by a single piece of thread that could snap at any time. Only for me it's "I could throw up at any time with my throat feeling like this". I've never feared vomitting this much before, it's always been controllable and I lost the fear for a good few years before. Now I'm here with an added 'teaser' (really nervous throat) and I feel like I'm playing the waiting game. I just hope that if I do end up making myself sick, that it will show me that it's really not that scary after all. Either that or it will push me over the edge altogether.

Sorry to keep harping on, I just don't know how to change this feeling of a huge mountain into something that's really a tiny mole hill!

Mark x