ROCD? Worrying bout fancying other blokes than my Bf

[Filthy1]

Hi!
First off, its been ages since Ive been on here, which is a good thing as not much anxiety probs! Ive had all sorts of OCD's including Relationship OCD.

Now though, I dunno if its creeping back or if its not ROCD but Im stressing out over this thing!

Im in love with my BF 100% and he's amazing, no problems or anything. But, one of our mates I think is quite fit and he's a bit of a charmer and always gives me a kiss on the cheek to say hello - as he does to everyone - but now Im worried that I fancy him and I think that I shouldn't be fancying other blokes, that I think that he's fit and Im attracted to him and then I doubt that I fancy my BF and that maybe I don't think he's as good looking etc and I worry that I might like accidently cheat on my bf or even that I will just be THINKING about sleeping with him etc.

Now I cant stop worrying about it and its making it worse because Im worrying that I cant stop thinking about this bloke and I feel like I'm basically cheating on my BF!!!

Help?!
:(

[ade]

hi honey bee
in my opinion you are just experiencing very normal feelings and there is no need for any guilt or self-monitoring.i am very happily married,a marriage built on total physical fidelity.but the fact that i am devoted to my wife has never stopped me noticing other beautiful women,and the same is true for her.i am much older than my wife (i am 42 she is 26) and we have two exquisite girls,and i am not prepared to let my wife feel guilt over merely thinking of the various pin-ups she has! (mainly david tennant and colin firth)
life is too short and too hard to deny ourselves natural feelings of attraction that are totally innocent.i may see someone in the street and think "wow"
but thats it... a thought.it helps that we have discussed this and laughed about it,in fact the fact that my wife is beautiful inside and out, makes me want her happiness all the more.we are absolutely faithful and will never betray each other but if she has a daydream then......good......i hope she
enjoys it without guilt.
an ocean of love
i hope you can feel peaceful over this
ade x

[milly jones]

ade, i do envy ur marriage and the way u feel about ur wife

ur such a blessed bloke

and an articulate and sensitive one too

ade is right

thoughts are thoughts. they only become an issue when they are followed by actions

chill hun

milly xxx

[Filthy1]

thanks guys, great words of advice - and well put!
I think part of my problem stems from a past relationship in which the person manipulated me into believing, even admitting to family and friends (!) that I had cheated, when I most certainly did not and never would. I was not allowed to speak to another man, not even male family members, not allowed to sit next to boys at college etc and constantly made to feel guilty for my apparent cheating. So maybe thats why I feel guilty for finding someone attractive.

x

[Snoopy1980]

Hi Hun....I am in the same boat....really struggling with the same thoughts you have. Let me know what works for you.

Keep in touch

Snoopy 1980