I'm 35. My life is going nowhere. I live with my mum. I don't have any friends and I'm too scared to go out make any. I hate my job but I don't know what I want to do.
What I want to know is, has anyone ever completely changed their life? I have not had any real friends since I started school ie since I was 5. I spent most of the school holidays on my own. I never went out on my own.
When I was older I forced myself to go away to university but dropped out because I could n't cope. I went around with some I knew from school for while but I never really enjoyed going to pubs and now they've all moved away.
Now I want to go exploring and walk long distance paths but I've got pain in my feet, knees and back and I can't any shoes or boots that fit. I feel so stupid when I read about disabled people who achieve things and I can't.
I'm wondering if I can ever do anything because I did n't do the exploring and making friends as a kid. I'm tired of just forcing myself to do things. I've tried CBT on the NHS and Transactional Analysis privately. I've asked my GP for an appointment to see a psychiatrist but I'm not holding out much hope. I don't want to be in the same position when I'm 40. Am I just too old to change, when I've been like this for all my life.
Thirtysomething