advise please

[tracy1972]

can anyone say why am igetting so frustrated angry and just want to smash up my house and i keep feeling like i am on my own and going mad i got wound up earlier my son has got adhd and he keeps on and on and on until i cant take any more i love him to bits but wish he would zip his mouth up sometimes he doesnt shut up and he is really loud from the tme he gets up to the time he goes to bed and he wants all the time usually money and kicks of if he cant get his own way and he punches and smasheas the house and does not give a monkies what he is saying i have eventually got help with him and a mentor but nobody to help at the moment or no contact number to ring just so i can sound of for a while i have had hi home since monday cause he hurt his foot and they wouldnt let him into school with crutches as it is a special needs school grrrrrrr need to scream please help got stresss headaches again for the 5th day running and going out of my mind please someone advise putting myself in panic attacks getting pains in chest and just want to scream shut up to him he doesnt give up keep going on on on i dont get any break from him and its always mum never dad

[sheena]

Hi Tracy

No wonder you are climbing up the walls. Kids can be bad enough when they don't have adhd.

Have you tried phoning social services. They should come out and do an assessment and hopefully might be able to give you some help so that you can get out for awhile.

Sheena

[marie1974]

hiya matey, u need desperately to get some help, cos the reason u are so angry and short tempered is cos u have everything on your head and u r getting no support.

i can only imagine how difficult it is for you with your son and i am sorry i cant offer much advice on that, but surely u must be able to get some more help, it makes me so cross that there is such little support around for people, but u must keep pushing for more help.

can u put your foot down with your husband and tell him straight u had enough and kind make him see that u mean it, it might give him a kick up the bum he needs.

tell him u not putting up with it anymore and if he dont start helping u then thats it and follow it up by u making little changes and showing him u mean business.

u dont actually have to really do it but just make him think u will, cos u are crying out for help hun and not getting any.

can u just leave the house for the day and just go somewhere on your own and just have some time for you to think and relax, to get away from it all, leave your husband to cope for once.

you know im here if u need me hun and email me anytime, im sorry i not much help but i really feel for you.

[ladybird64]

Hi Tracy.

My daughter hasn't got ADHD but does have aggressive tantrums and smashes things, gets aggressive with family members etc.
I do understand, it is difficult enough to get any basic level of support from day to day but during times of crisis there is nothing whatsoever.
It's no surprise you are suffering from physical symptoms, when you are on the receiving end of verbal and sometimes physical abuse from your own child and are powerless to stop it.
I don't know if you are getting any support from Social Services but have found that you have to practically beg to even get an assessment from them, let alone any kind of service. in my case, it took numerous complaints and then a letter to the head honcho to even get a response.
I don't know your personal circumstances with your husband Tracy but I'm sure it would be better for you both if you could BOTH deal with your sons behaviour together. Sometimes a united front can work wonders and it will show your son that what he is doing is not acceptable. Have you got support from the SENCO at your sons school? You should also be entitled to assistance from an Educational Psychologist and a Clinical Psychologist, make sure that you get some input from them.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

[Andyroo]

sounds like you need a nanny or somthing one women can only to so much my aunt has a kid that seems alott like your's she felt the same way you did and had no choice but to seek help. im sorry this is so hard on you but hang in there

[tracy1972]

thank you guys i have got the help all lined up and waiting for the all clear from this women that has set it all up and she is going to refer me to councilling then mental health team and another one says no councilling and mental health together which suits me just fine dont mind and willing to work hard to get better cause at the moment thats all i can focus on is getting better the adult mental health team told me they would help me when i had got help for my son which i have done and now they r saying that councilling first then go to the team just cause this other one said so so y r they telling me to do them tog then apart does my head in but mt anger and temper really is scaring me i wont hit him or anything like that i will hit a brick wall but still scary

[tracy1972]

hiya matey, u need desperately to get some help, cos the reason u are so angry and short tempered is cos u have everything on your head and u r getting no support.

i can only imagine how difficult it is for you with your son and i am sorry i cant offer much advice on that, but surely u must be able to get some more help, it makes me so cross that there is such little support around for people, but u must keep pushing for more help.

can u put your foot down with your husband and tell him straight u had enough and kind make him see that u mean it, it might give him a kick up the bum he needs.

tell him u not putting up with it anymore and if he dont start helping u then thats it and follow it up by u making little changes and showing him u mean business.

u dont actually have to really do it but just make him think u will, cos u are crying out for help hun and not getting any.

can u just leave the house for the day and just go somewhere on your own and just have some time for you to think and relax, to get away from it all, leave your husband to cope for once.

you know im here if u need me hun and email me anytime, im sorry i not much help but i really feel for you.

morning its not kev he has been really busy at work and then coming home and painting and sorting out the kids but it is getting to much for him as well he is a good support in a funny sort of way he wont come to meetings and that but he supports me with talking to me and cuddles and i do the fighting which does get to me as sometimes you needhim there to back you but understand as he is self employed and need to work to geet the money i would love to go out but i have no body to go out with during the week as i dont have any friends local and at weekends if i go my daughter comes with me and she is great she only 14 but she soon pulls me up bu to much on her shoulders could turn her like me in a few years so trying to not get her to deep involved she helps me now when i go into a panic attack then i feel guilty i call myself billy === billy no mates when my son was younger he was worse than awful and friends didnt stay around long if you know what i mean
thank you donna will e mail you son have nt spoke to you for ages and to catch up on your situation as well take care hun love to all x

[marie1974]

hiya tracey, im glad u have your hubby to support you then matey cos sometimes when we feel like that a hug can make a big difference.

can u do alittle bit of voluntary work mayb, even just hour or 2 aweek? i say that because its a great place to meet genuine and nice friends who do actually care.

i have met some lovely people through voluntary work.

im here if you need me tracey, i am fine hunny. hugs and u will get there xxxx

[tracy1972]

thank you donna never thought of voluntary work thats realy goood an there are loads of charity shops roundhere as well so guess where i am going on monday

[marie1974]

aww great matey, i did it for a while and worked with some lovely people and it will help u to get time just for u and also make some friends.

mayb go in them and have a look around and get some vibes on the place etc and see which one u feel u would feel happy in
hugs let me know how it goes xxx