Completely overwhelmed by panic

[orangeblossom]

I have had some great times over the last few months, but today everything has really hit and I am completely and utterly overwhelmed by my panic. I am sitting in bed because I'm too scared to get out of it. I know that sounds completely pathetic, but I don't know what to do. I've coped with panic, anxiety and emetaphobia for years and years, but sometimes it just gets way too much to bear or handle and I come completely unstuck.

I managed to go on the bus by myself on Tuesday. It was a HUGE deal because it is something I haven't done in well over a decade. I didn't sleep that night - too stressed! although the being on the bus was, oddly enough, perfectly fine and I felt as if I were in a bit of a daze.

It must have taken more out of me than I had thought because since then I have barely been able to leave the house and everything has begun to overwhelm me. I had planned to meet some friends for a quick drink with my fiance this evening but obviously being unable to leave my bed placed a bit of a dampner on that(!) I am supposed to be meeting an old friend, whom I haven't seen for almost a year, tomorrow and perhaps also going to the lord mayor's firework display and hopefully remembrance sunday too... but it just seems like way too much right now. Despite the fact that I really, really want to go and enjoy it.

There are so many other things going on - uncle has cancer and is undergoing more chemotherapy, my work is ridiculously stressful right now and I'm piling on the pressure on myself too... the list just goes on (as I am sure it does for everyone).

I guess it doesn't help that after almost a year without periods, I started one today - feels like hell!!!!! - and I am sure other women might empathise with the agony/nausea/exhaustion involved.

I honestly don't know what to do. Sitting in bed too scared to get out of it, too scared to eat or even sip water... I really don't know how to make this situation any better.

All I can do is

[Hollytree]

You are going through a tough time, I can sympathize with you. Sometimes there are so many things going on in life that is gets over whelming. I had a good cry 2day, so much built up tension, mainly from worry, it had to come out somewhere. Is there anyone you can talk to, talking is the best for me.
I find it hard sometimes to get out of the house, and being social is hard, however it is good if you can do it. Here to talk xxxx

[ladybird64]

Hiya.

You have really got my sympathy with this..have you noticed as soon as we have a bit of success we want to conquer the world?
So we take on lots of things, going here, going there, doing as much as we can because we must be on the road to recovery, right?
Well, kind of. You have taken a monumental step this week getting on the bus after all that time, glad it wasn't as bad as you thought. But, and it's a big but..we often don't acknowledge or even realise how exhausting these achievements are! I have found that I manage something big feel a bit weary for a couple of days afterwards and then wallop..I feel like I will never be able to do anything again.
But you will..when you're ready. Another thing that we suffer from is impatience, we have suffered for so long when there is a breakthrough we want to be better..NOW!
Take your time and stop knocking yourself, give yourself the time that you need to recover from your excursion!
How about meeting your friend tomorrow but giving the Lord Mayor's procession a miss? It is always on the TV, so is the memorial at the Cenotaph. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that if you were able to cope, you would have gone. just planning it all shows you meant business but you didn't take into account how weary you are at the moment.
Don't be scared, I'm sure you'll be ok.
Feel free to PM me if you want.

[bumbles]

I know this sounds silly but the fact that your period started today will have a great deal of importance on how your feeling, i get very anxious just before mine to the point of feeling like I am having a breakdown. Stay calm a couple of days should see you feel more like your old self.

[andie73]

I agree with Bumbles, I think your period will have alot to do with how anxious you are feeling. I am terrible before and for the first few days of mine. Last month I went on like an emtional wreck at work, and ended up going home. I felt sooo sick, shakey and weepy it was unbelieveable that it was just hormones. Then I felt stupid for being like that at work and felt silly for crying all over my friend at work!!!!! I've just got that out of my head and next next period will be looming.

Try to relax and don't push yourself, take it easy, get the hot water bottle out and have a hot drink. Try to eat something though because that won't help, and if it's any comfort even though I feel soooo sick at that time of the month( I'm an emmet too) I have never been sick.

[Dreamer029]

Orange
I know how you feel. It is the worst feeling in the world... I always get very anxious right before/first few days of my period. Just try to breathe, and think positive thoughts, you will get through this feeling.
Laur

[kai]

As hard as it is to get yourself out of bed and go socialize with people, it will probably make you feel so much better when you do. I know how you feel, not wanting to get out of bed and feeling overwhelmed and scared--but many times when I'm forced to see people even when I don't want to, I end up feeling better. Many times the anticipatory fear is far worse than the real fear. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? You'll find that nothing really bad will happen. I hope you can find the strength to get out of bed, I know it's hard. "This too, shall pass."

[Veronica H]

hi orangeblossom

I agree that the period you had is probably significant and I would wait this out and try not to read too much into it other than that. The feelings I get just before a period these days are very similar to an impending attack, I also feel less confident about things too. It will pass. Your friends will understand if you take a rest, but get out again as soon as your can.

Best wishes
Veronica

[On the Panic Trail]

My God I know this is so tough and I can empathise with every word, I mean Panic attacks, depression, emetophobia.

I had some days my panic attacks had total control on me and I could do absolutely nothing but being so scared sth terrible was going to happen, I was so afraid that I thought I was going to die!

On other occasions I simply felt so tired and exhausted and depressed that I spent days and days in bed thinking about my life being meaningless and I simply wished I would disappear...

But I can swear there are ways out of this f*** mess,

Tell the people around you, although many people might not understand, don't be afraid they might take you as crazy, cowardish, pathetic, stupid or whatever... there are ways that they can inform themselves and eventually they will understand, many people just don't know what it is like to be in the condition you are...

I wish you all the best, I'm thinking about you and I'm sure, the others here do as well!

Feel free to write me and ask for any advises or support!!! I mean it, really!!

Good luck to you ))

Dario.

[orangeblossom]

Your responses have meant the world to me and I found myself getting tearful again when I read them - but in a good way!! It makes such a difference when other people genuinely understand what I am going through and don't assume that I am a complete nutcase.

I think all of you are quite right. Overdoing it and expecting myself to be almost completely 'cured' is, well, a bit daft. I guess it is perfectly normal to have a bit of 'down' time sometimes when I've done a few things that have been extremely challenging to say the least.

I guess it is something that I find very scary though - it is almost as if the scary stuff that I do, like going on a bus, is like a dream because it is so stressful that it becomes pretty surreal sometimes... and then the huge anxiety that follows it feels as if I'll never be well again.

I know it is a temporary feeling / state of affairs, but because it is quite new to me, it is a genuine and complete shock to the system!

Thank you for being so understanding and caring enough to respond to my thread!

It took me quite a few hours to get out of bed(!) Thankfully my friend decided - completely independently - that he wasn't going to pop over, but my two other friends did come over to stay and we had a lovely evening together... ended up chatting until almost 2:30am!!

I didn't do much today, but I did go to the Cenotaph which was, as ever, really moving and it felt great to be able to cheer and clap the old soldiers. One even winked at me!
The rest of the day, I've been resting and relaxing at home... it is surprising what listening to the radio and having a go at knitting a scarf will do for your nerves!!!!

How do all of you cope with the huge stresses and anxiety that comes after doing something very difficult/challenging?