daughters first boyfriend

[crunchie01]

hi everyone,

just wanting some advice on what other people would do,

my daughter has her first boyfriend im really scared and nervous etc for her but im very proud of her for telling me and he has come to the house to meet us with his mum, oh my god i cant believe this is happening

i have talked to her about sex,pregnancy etc but im still concerned im positive she hasnt done this yet in fact i know she hasnt but i dont know what to do i want her to be prepared etc,what do i do?
ive never been in this situation before she is 14,

[flymo9]

jennie iv got 9yr old boy, so not same but have worked with teenage girls. my advice is make condoms and stuff available, hard i know but better to be prepared, as kids dont always tell parents stuff, especially when comes to sex. i know its hard as shes ur baby, but scary as is, she a teenager and got to be prepared. maybe u cood let her know that local family planning clinics usually give out free condoms (she likely not want to tell u she wants them)

i know 14 is still very young but teenagers today are likely alot different from when u were at school, and better she prepared against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. my brothers gf contracted hiv at 17, thru being naive etc, so it is so important to be protected. not sure if iv put ur mind at rest, dont wana freak u out, but these days cant take chances.
also let ur daughter know u dont view sex as something dirty and that she can talk to u at any time, and if she cant talk to u, maybe a friend of urs or close family member that she can talk to if she wants/needs to, anyhow good luck xx

[flymo9]

P.S u maybe right and the thought of sex freak her out, so i woodnt worry urself too much!! i was nearly 17 before i did. so maybe she will hopefully be same huh tc xx

[crunchie01]

i have been as open as i can with her and ive told her she can tell me anything and if she wants to at any point i can take her to drs or make her an appointment etc so she can talk to dr, he is a year older than her and he seems a lovely lad, i just want her to be prepared,they have been caught snogging each others face off tonight by her dad i was pregnant with her at 16 and i love her more than anything in this world but i dont want her to do the same so i would rather be open with her because i know at some point she will do it and i dont want her to feel like its a taboo subject etc, just want to know how other people would approach it.

i know some people will think being prepared for it will encourage her to do it but im not daft i could bury my head in the sand and think she wont do it, but i know she will and id rather cover every angle and make sure she is safe and prepared, even though she is my baby and i cant believe this has happened what happened to her playing with baby annabell??

[pinkpiglet]

Awww, how sweet!
I can see why you are a bit worried but your really shouldnt be.
The most she probably does is talk about sex with her friends (very normal for 14 year old girls) and they tend to have a very niave view on the subject. Its great that you were able to broach the subject with her and provide her with some of the facts, i would just leave well alone now and let them enjoy there first romance. You have done more than most mothers but dont go and spoil it by making it such an issue. Let the two of them enjoy each others company. Also it is good that this boys parents are so supportive too, by meeting this boy and his mum you have gained some insight into his background and not many parents can say this. I think you have a lovely little set up here and you can get to know the boy better by inviting him out for meals with your family, taking them bowling or dropping them off/picking them up from the pictures. You can keep an eye on them whilst they think you are just been a groovy supportive mum.

I worked in an all girls childrens home for four years so i have a pretty good idea of how 14 year old girls think and thinking is usually as far as they go. Start to worry in another few years. LOL x

[crunchie01]

thank you so much for your replies it really helps,

im so proud of her for telling me,

things could have gone so wrong as her 'biological dad' doesnt want anything to do with her etc and she really is a good girl, im not saying i have not had problems with because i have major problems at certain points but she is my daughter and i love her so much and i am so proud of her

it was quite sweet when him and his mum came last night as they both were really giggly etc and me and his mum were both just stood there

thank you again

[pinkpiglet]

LOL Jennie, Are'nt they sweet?

Sounds like you'v raised your daughter well so you should take the credit for what she as become. Every parent/guardian experiences some problems with their teens and pre teens. Kids in general can be a worry so the fact that you have had some problems is far from unusual.
Give yourself a pat on the back and enjoy seeing your daughter so happy and giggly. Remember what it was like yourself when you first started getting interested in boys.

[crunchie01]

hi everyone,

thank you so much for your replies it has really helped.
i popped to see practice nurse today to ask her about all this and also for one of my own worries that is getting out of control again,

she gave me leaflets on contraception, emergancy contraception,stds etc and said that if and when the time comes she can pop and see gp with me or on her own and they will talk to her and see what is suitable, she said i was being responsible for being prepared and getting all the information for her,ive popped the leaflets in her bedroom so she can read them when she is ready and she might not feel as embarressed if i sat with her and went through them with her lol

thank you again

[Anxious_gal]

wow your such a GOOD mum, I wish I had known about protection, stds , relationships, emotions when I was a teen, all my mum said was don't get pregnant!

[crunchie01]

thank you so much for that its lovely thank you.

i just want her to be prepared and safe shes my baby even though she seems to be growing up all at once and its scary