restless

[hope&faith]

hi, im back after having a 2 year break, been having anxiety again 4 nearly 2 weeks now, back on citalopram, been on them for 4 days now, and think im finally starting to calm myself down. phew! just wondered, if when your starting to feel normal you, start to think of what it was like when you have anxiety feelings, then it gives you this horrible dirty feeling, like doom or death. kind of hard to explain. but ive become soo into thinking about myself having weird feelings like doom that it brings on dp/dr and anxiety. and i think even when i think back to being a child i used to feel weird, like i always thought about death ect. and when im going through a anxiety mode, i feel scared about everything, like being alone, how will i take my kids to school, what if i never feel normal again. does anyone get these feelings?

[Missy69]

Hiya,
Yes i get all of the feelings you have described. Awful isnt it, you say you have had a two year break ? how did you recover and what do you think has set you back ? maybe you should recap how you helped yourself out of it last time ! easier said than done i know, doesnt stop it being frightened does it.

Hope you feel better soon take care

[hope&faith]

i just hate the fact that everyone, i talk to doesn't understand. they try to, but when i ask them if they have ever had a fuzzy head, or weird like doomy feelings they look at me like im a freak. when i was 16 i got pregnant. my parents were surportive, but i hid my pregnancy and visited abortion clinics alone, untill my sister found out and stopped me. i was 19weeks by then. i didnt want a abortion, but didnt want to be pregnant. anyway 28weeks into my pregnancy i woke up feeling really weird, panicky and really scared, i had a bad cold at this time, and thought i was having a reaction to using vics lol. which was the start of my nightmere, i had deralisation,/ depersonalisation, which at the time i didnt know what it was. but i felt horrible like a ghost floating around. everything looked distorted. which freaked me out. the dr said it was a virus, and because i was pregnant i couldn't have anything for it. i didnt want to be alone i felt scared about everything. that was 6 years ago and since then ive always suffered panic attacks and bouts of constant anxiety. it went away last time because i finally knew what i had. the problem is, when your better you start thinking of how terrifing it is to be bad.

[Missy69]

Hi,

I have had the doom and gloom feeling, and i know it is absolutely awful to have this feeling, i just stopped trying to find out what it was, its very ard to explain, but i do know what its like. I used to have go and smell my sons clothes, to bring back some sort of feelings or love, anything, i use to fight it and analyse it to death. Even at this stage had suicide thoughts. Didnt love any one, was totaly bewildered as to what was happening to me.

I am much better these days, and it really is down to not paying any attention, very very hard i know, but its the only thing that worked for me and still does.

Maybe when your having a good spell you should try not to keep remembering how bad it all was, thinking about it and fearing it, is what will bring it back.

Have you read Claire weekes books, and there are some free downloads in the nmp shop, just an idea, maybe you have read them.

Hope you get some more help and reassurance soon

[hope&faith]

thanks hun, yeah im not as bad now i know what i have, and it takes a website to tell you, where a dr fails. my husband is really supportive and my beauitful children keep me going. you cant be ill when you have kids, lol. i know the key to this illness is not to think too deeply into things and not to over analise things, but if we could, i dont think we would be here. x x

[pooh]

Hi there and welcome long to NMP

Pooh x

[bottleblond]

Hi Hope and Welcome back

I would try not to worry too much about it hun because we all seem to go through these up's and down's, Blips and set backs. It doesn't mean you are back to square one by any means.

Loads of love to you and remember we are here to support you.

Love Lisa
xxx

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx