Hi everyone,
I was just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar to me? I suffer from shyness and anxiety in social situations. It seems to hold me back in many areas of my life- I find it very frustrating!
I suffered bullying at school over a period of a number of years, and I just took it, as I hate conflict and I had no back up from my friends. I left school many years ago now, but years on it is still eating away at me- The fact that I didn't stand up for myself makes me feel ashamed and has meant that I've had no closure on it. Occasionally I still see people from school and when I do my heart beat races and I revert back to the even more painfully shy person I was at school.
Rationally I know that it's over and it is up to me to get over it and move on- (I really enjoyed uni and have made a group of really close friends- I do realise that I'm very lucky in many aspects of my life), but despite that, it still seems to haunt me on a subconscious level- particularly in group situations, and I am very wary of new people until I know them well enough to trust them- which I wish I wasn't! It makes it really difficult to make new friends, and people often mistake my shyness for unfriendliness.
I just thought I'd see if anyone could relate to this or had any advice? I think part of the problem is I bottle things up, as I don't want to burden others and seem like I'm making a drama out of things- as I realise many people have suffered a lot worse and moved on. Just writing this has helped I think, so thanks very much for listening!
Helen M