So I posted a pretty detailed introduction on the introduction forum but I'm still worried about everything. Just to recap in case some of you haven't read my intro...

I've been getting oral thrush since I was 18(I'm now almost 24) after a strong dose of antibiotics and throwing up immediately after taking one. I think that's what started the whole thing. Since then I get it about once a year when I'm really really stressed or antiobiotic of course. But the whole time the doctor's keep suggesting HIV....or just something wrong with my immune system in general.

I have managed to keep my Internet searching under control the last few years but now it's out of control. I've been trying to keep myself busy and if I feel the urge to get on the Internet...I've been trying to turn here. I'm excited to be able to use the chat feature soon! Anyway...I've been with the same guy for 8 years and he was tested for HIV 4 years ago which was 2 years after I started getting thrush. He tested negative. I seriously don't think I have HIV. I know it could only take 1 time but there might have only been one or two occasions where I had unprotected sex and this was years ago, before I met my current boyfriend. I've never had a blood transfusion or anything like that but even lately I'm starting to convince myself I could have picked it up another way....like getting my nails done in the salons? Everyone who knows me very well...family and friends keep telling me to calm the heck down because I'd be the last person they'd think to have HIV. Or any other auto-immune thing for that matter considering I rarely even catch a cold. I bet I've only had about 2 or 3 colds in the last 5 years.

I also came down with a skin rash that was driving me crazy(mentally...it didn't itch) and I found out it was Pityriasis Rosea(which calmed me down a LOT!). My new obsession this week is a slight sore throat. I also had the "lump in throat" feeling I've read alot about on here. I think the sore throat could be due to the dry winter air(we always have blood in our noses in the mornings here in the winter), a side effect of my anti-anxiety drug(Librax), or smoking. They changed our cigarettes here in the US to fire safe cigarettes and a lot of people are saying they are causing sore throats. So I've also now got an obsession with feeling my throat and lymph nodes around my neck and trachea over and over again to the point where they actually are sore and a bit swollen now.

Anyway...I have my doctor's appointment on Wednesday afternoon and I'm just so scared that this is it. He's going to look me right in the face and tell me a week before Christmas that I'm dying because my bloodwork said so. Of course the normal part of my brain is telling me what is probably going to happen...he's going to say the bloodwork all came back normal and its all stress. That's what I want to hear!

Wouldn't it be terrible to hear some awful bad news a week before Christmas? My holiday has already been ruined thus far with all my health problems. I just need to know that I'm healthy so I can get into the Christmas spirit already!

Just tell me I don't have HIV, I don't have throat cancer, and I'm not dying of some auto-immune disease! Please

Another note...have any of you ever gotten oral thrush from severe anxiety/stress?