Does anybody else find that...

[Seebra]

#1. When you are worried, so worried about something being wrong with you, and you get the tests done and worry some more and then they finally come back fine, the sense of relief and happiness almost feels like a drug?

#2 When you read something, or know of someone that had something diagnosed that was serious, you automatically begin feeling symptoms of whatever it was that you read about or learned about?

For example - an aquaintance of my husband's cousin died in her sleep from a tooth infection from a root canal - the next week I panicked every day and visited my dentist three times because I thought the same would happen to me. Turns out, when I asked my dentist about that, she told me it was EXTREMELY rare and that it had to do with the medical history of the person as well (the woman had some health issues to begin with).

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else can relate to these things.

[itoldyouiwasill]

Interesting you should mention this. In reference to the first part of your question I have been thinking along similar lines rececently. I am actually a member of another anxiety forum and actually only visit here occasionally. I posted a thread yesterday on the other forum that I will copy here....does this make sense to you with reference to your thoughts as well....?



'I am currently reading about a concept that many people actually live their lives in a constant cycle of tension and relief. The basic tenant of this is that whilst we may actually hate living with tension we actually become addicted to the feeling we get when the tension is resolved and therefore in order to keep this feeling going we actually have no other choice then to hunt out more and more tension.

I find this concept interesting in itself and can also see how this could relate to various anxiety disorders but something struck me that was actually quite specific to Health Anxiety. I recall a while ago reading a post from somebody on another anxiety forum and this person was explaining how they felt they had become addicted to the feeling they had when a GP finally managed to convince them that they did not have the serious disease that they so feared....this person explained that for all intent and purposes they had been living with the disease they feared for X amount of time and that them being told they did not have it was almost like a life changing moment....of course, the problem always was that the person would then shortly manage to convince themselves that they now had a different disease and the process would repeat itself all over again....the thing is though the sufferer actually seemed to have the insight that it was the moment of joy at the good news that was actually causing them to have to worry about a disease in order to get that feeling again. This seems like a classic case of tension and relief then rinse and repeat to me.

My Health Anxiety was triggered by a health scare in June 2007. When I look back to that time I remember vividly how I felt when I was given the results of my scan and was told I was in the clear. I had been scared witless for about 10 days and was convinced I was dieing (remember, this was before my health anxiety) when me and my wife where told that I was fine I just remember having an incredible sense of relief and thinking that I had almost been given a second chance of life and that life would be fantastic for me from now on due to my new improved attitude. It was exactly a week later that I woke to the buzzing, twitching and depersonalisation and the nightmare then began.

So, my point...lol. Well, for the last 18 months I have realised I have lived out the tension & relief then rinse & repeat over and over...in actual fact it is like the movie Groundhog Day at times. I'm now wondering if on some level I am trying to recreate that joyous and life changing thought process once again. I do realise that whenever a doctor gives me reassurance or if I find a titbit of information that gives me some ressurance then this gives the relief feeling, sometimes this can be quite intense but as we all know it is always very short lived. Over the last 18 months I have been concerned about MS, ALS back to MS, autoimmune disease of the liver, Lupus, liver cancer, gall bladder cancer and most recently a rare form of lung tumour....now, each time I have managed to put a concern to bed I get that relief and have that feeling of 'that is it, the madness is over and my life is back on track', however, this only lasts a short while until the next disease concern sneaks in and the process begins again, tension & relief then rinse & repeat!

I know that this is nothing new, this is a pattern that we all recognise and probably all follow but I think it is quite an interesting concept that we may actually be addicted to the idea and more importantly emotional feeling of not having a disease and realising that we are healthy and that the only way we can do this is by convincing ourselves that we are actually ill and unhealthy.'

[itoldyouiwasill]

...any thoughts on that seebra?

[worryguy9]

Excellent post itoldyou, makes ALOT of sense to me. My trigger was testicular cancer, and after about 3 weeks respite from that went onto lovely Lymphoma. If I am doing all this to get a buzz from relief it is purely subconcious that's for sure!

[itoldyouiwasill]

Excellent post itoldyou, makes ALOT of sense to me. My trigger was testicular cancer, and after about 3 weeks respite from that went onto lovely Lymphoma. If I am doing all this to get a buzz from relief it is purely subconcious that's for sure!

...ditto...

[Seebra]

itoldyouiwasill - Absolutely have tons of thoughts on your post, and agree with it wholeheartedly.

This part especially:

the madness is over and my life is back on track', however, this only lasts a short while until the next disease concern sneaks in and the process begins again, tension & relief then rinse & repeat!

For me, the cycle begins with a build up of stress and anxiety. I just feel overwhelmed. Perhaps there is a trigger, but I haven't, after all these years, discovered what it is that starts the process.

From the stress,panic attacks and anxiety, I begin to develop symptoms. Always they are "different" symptoms. A different dreaded disease.

ALS, cancer, stroke, heart attack, embolism, brain tumor, lupus, etc. etc. etc.

After deciding what it is I have this time, I dwell - and I mean dwell - on the symptoms and it affects my everyday life. I walk in a fog, concentrating on my symptoms, worrying, freaking out, until I either see the doctor or go to the ER.

They do the necessary tests (MRI, XRay, D-Dimer, blood tests, etc) and tell me everything is fine.

I leave in a state of pure peace and calmness, vowing that I am healthy and will live happily ever after - no more health scares, no more symptoms.

Strangely, once I am told it isn't what I thought, the symptoms disappear (most of the time) or at least I don't think about them anymore.

But it never fails that after 6 months, maybe a year, I find the newest disease to focus on, dwell on, begin the cycle again.

Terrified I will always be like this - it is definitely subconscious - I don't invent symptoms, and I am tired of my husband thinking that I enjoy thinking something is wrong. I want more than anything to live a normal life without worry.

[yanksforever]

Seebra, you're a healthy woman. There are so many people right now in the world who wish their tests had produced similar results...

Tests now are so advanced, cannot under estimate their power.

You are healthy and in no imminent danger or death. Please go out and live.

<3

[Seebra]

Thanks, yanks.

I tell myself this over and over.

Those worrisome thoughts keep creeping in -you know the ones - "yes, but what if..." and "this time it's bad news"

I have been tracking down my condition for the last 6 months, trying to understand why it is that I do this to myself (and, yes, to my family.)

I am not yet close to discovering why, but I am working hard on stopping the cycle. Which is why I posed the question.

I am thinking, in my own strange way, this cycle helps me to remain "in control" if you will, of something in my life when everything else seems out of control.

I do not cut, never have. Never turned to drugs. I am wondering, now, if this hypochondriac and obsession with my health could be a sort of drug for me - a way to get a high, or keep control, something... it's in there somewhere, the answer I have been searching for.

Seebra, you're a healthy woman. There are so many people right now in the world who wish their tests had produced similar results...

Tests now are so advanced, cannot under estimate their power.

You are healthy and in no imminent danger or death. Please go out and live.

<3